Joke 306

24 Jan

A man owns a parrot. The parrot swears like a sailor; he can swear for five minutes straight without repeating himself.  The man who owns the parrot is a quiet, conservative type, and the bird’s foul mouth drives him crazy.

One day, it gets to be too much; the man grabs the bird by the throat, shakes him really hard, and yells, “SHUT IT!” But this just makes the bird mad and he swears more than ever.  The man is furious.  “That’s it. I’ll get you!” He locks the bird in a kitchen cabinet.

The parrot is really aggravated and he claws and scratches, and when the bloke finally lets him out, the bird lets loose with a stream of invective that would make a veteran sailor blush.

At that point, the guy is so mad that he throws the bird into the freezer.

For the first few seconds, there is a terrible din. The bird kicks and claws and thrashes. Then it suddenly goes very quiet.

At first the man just waits, but then he starts to think that the bird may be hurt. After a couple of minutes of silence, he’s so worried that he opens the freezer door.

The bird calmly climbs onto the man’s outstretched arm and says, “Awfully sorry about the trouble I gave you. I’ll do my best to improve my vocabulary from now on.”

The man is astounded. He can’t understand the transformation that has come over the parrot.

Then the parrot says, “By the way, what did the chicken do?”

14 Responses to “Joke 306”

  1. Kate Kresse January 24, 2012 at 07:16 #

    i guess the bloke put the parrot in the naughty chair, eh?


  2. Viciously Sweet January 24, 2012 at 07:56 #

    Boy do I like a giggly time joke!


  3. viv blake January 24, 2012 at 09:06 #

    Good story: Jock is suffering from a cold (a really serious illness to a man) and thoroughly miserable. Your joke cheered him up!


  4. Pseu January 24, 2012 at 09:37 #

    My sister’s all time favourite joke!!!!


  5. colonialist January 24, 2012 at 13:49 #

    You should offer a polly gees for these! 🙂


  6. SchmidleysScribbling January 24, 2012 at 17:05 #

    An old one that all we parrot people have read, but still funny. Unless you are a parrot of course. Dianne


  7. earlybird January 24, 2012 at 18:46 #

    I LOVED this!


  8. evilnymphstuff January 25, 2012 at 15:05 #

    LOL! Dead chickens in your freezer can be so helpful sometimes… xD


  9. Tom (Aquatom1968) January 25, 2012 at 21:02 #

    I’ve never heard this joke before Tilly, it made me laugh! I like the cartoon too!


    • Tilly Bud January 26, 2012 at 12:51 #

      Glad you enjoyed it – but now I’m worried that you’ve heard all the others…


  10. sonsy lass January 27, 2012 at 18:03 #

    Tilly, hello and thank you – was feeling seriously fed up and your blog made me laugh out loud.


    How do you catch a squirrel?

    Climb up a tree and act like a nut…



    • Tilly Bud January 30, 2012 at 12:29 #

      Never apologise for telling a joke 🙂

      I’m glad you laughed 😀


I welcome your comments but be warned: I'm menopausal and as likely to snarl as smile. Wine or Maltesers are an acceptable bribe; or a compliment about my youthful looks and cheery disposition will do in a pinch.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: