Archive | 12:04

Happy Anniversary Diamond Liz

6 Feb
Coronation of Queen Elizabeth II X

Image via Wikipedia

The Queen has been on the throne sixty years today.  Anyone else would be allowed to retire.

"Princess Lilibet". Derivative image...
Image via Wikipedia

To celebrate, here are some interesting facts:

  • My Nan was born 18 April 1914 and named Elizabeth, known as Lil.  The Queen was born 21 April 1926 and named Elizabeth, known as Lilibet.  Coincidence?
  • The Queen is visited by the reigning Prime Minister every Tuesday that she’s home in Buck House.  Some jobs suck.
  • The Queen has attended 34 Royal Variety performances.  Like I said: some jobs suck.
  • The Queen has two birthdays, one the actual and one the official.  She gets to ride with handsome soldiers on horses in June for her public birthday.  Nice, but I’d prefer a box of Maltesers.
  • The Queen is the only royal female to serve in the armed forces.  My Mum was in the Army for three years, apart from the time she went awol.   She and a friend ran home to Liverpool from Richmond; my Nan gave them a meal, bath and bed, then took them to the police station next morning, to turn themselves in.  The Army took them back.  The Army didn’t know what they were letting themselves in for.
  • The Queen has nine royal thrones: one at the House of Lords, two at Westminster Abbey, six in the throne room at Buckingham Palace.  I have two: one upstairs; one down. 
  • Queen Elizabeth II is the fortieth monarch since William the Conqueror stole the crown of England.  From Bill to Lil in forty easy steps.
  • The Queen speaks fluent French.  Blame it on her Norman ancestry.
  • Prince Andrew was born in 1960, eight years after she came to the throne.  That makes her the first reigning Queen to have a child since Queen Victoria gave birth to Princess Beatrice in 1857.  The first Queen Regnant pregnant.

I would like to tell you the story about the Queen and the farting horse, but I’ve told it at least three times in this blog, and probably more.  Instead, here’s a link to it.

Happy Anniversary, Queenie.

Joke 319

6 Feb

A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch. “I couldn’t help noticing how happy you look,” she said. “What’s your secret for a long happy life?”

“I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day,” he said. “I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise.”

“That’s amazing,” said the woman. “How old are you?”

“Twenty-six,” he said.

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