Repair In Haste; Repent At Leisure

24 Feb
Ripples of tapwater over a plughole

Image via Wikipedia

I am easy made queasy: watching people vomit on tv, or even brush their teeth – all that disgusting foam; it’s why I threw away my electric toothbrush – turns my stomach.  I had been married six years before I was able to scrape off a dinner plate with my eyes open (once a baby takes over, disgusting becomes a habit).

Emptying a plughole is beyond me; the Hub has to do it.   In the kitchen, at least.  Because a strange thing happened when we became poor – I could not afford to visit the hairdresser ergo my hair grew ergo the bath plughole frequently becomes blocked.  I know how horrible it is to take hair out of a plughole but the Hub’s CFS/ME means that sometimes he is just not able to do the job and I can only take so many showers with scum floating around my ankles: I had to swallow my distaste and man up.

The Hub keeps a sharp knife in the bathroom and I learned to operate it with my eyes closed, and to mop up the hair with a bit of toilet paper.  In fact, I have learned to do it with my eyes open.  Like Samson, all along, my strength was in my hair.

My hair is strong these days: in recent weeks, even cutting it out every day has not unblocked the plughole; there is too much hair underneath, in the outlet pipe.  I asked the Hub several hundred times to do something but he is unwell and I didn’t want to nag, so yesterday I set to with the essential bathroom tool – the earbud.  I prodded and poked, stabbed and yanked, wielded and wefted, but nothing.  That old and stubborn hair refused to be set free.

Then I noticed…the plughole was attached to the outlet pipe by a screw.  I can unscrew a screw; I know the difference between a flathead and Phillips screwdriver (are you impressed?); I could see a flathead screwdriver was needed and the Hub keeps just such a tool in the bathroom (I’m afraid to ask why).  It was a simple matter to unscrew the plughole screw and remove the – thunk!  What was that?

That was the outlet pipe coming away from the plughole and taking up residency in another room, far away.  As far away as me from a tv screen showing an after-drinking session.  Erm, oops… was my first response.  My second response was to call the Hub, in the smallest voice I could manage, begging him not to yell at me and to fix my massive-but-I-wanted-to-save-you-a-job-mistake.

The Hub is my hero.  He dragged his pain-filled body upstairs, fixed the bath, removed the hair gunk, banned me from all future unscrewing without his permission in triplicate and carved into my ear, and didn’t yell at me.  He did tell me off about using earbuds near plugholes, however: did you know that they can fall through the gaps and block the outlet pipes so that Hubs might have to take the whole thing apart again?  The Hub is such a know-it-all.

I’ll misquote Danny Driscoll from Only Fools & Horses to state the handyman position as it stands in the Tilly Bud household from now on: when it comes to repairs, the Hub does the thinking; I don’t.

41 Responses to “Repair In Haste; Repent At Leisure”

  1. jmgoyder February 24, 2012 at 12:55 #

    Unfortunately, I was eating my dinner when I read your post – ha!


    • Tilly Bud February 24, 2012 at 12:56 #

      Sorry about that! But why are you at the computer when you eat? You should be relaxing, away from it.


      • jmgoyder February 24, 2012 at 13:17 #

        Well, I’d just fed Son and his friend and I took a plate out to my little office so they could have fun without mummy bear!
        Your post was hilarious by the way!


  2. laurieanichols February 24, 2012 at 12:59 #

    I think that you were very brave for trying to take care of it on your own and that you showed the Hub exactly how much you love him, you put his illness and discomfort before your own. When the Hub gets better he needs to give you a big hug, kiss and flowers. He is great to have around, for being so handy.


    • Tilly Bud February 24, 2012 at 13:01 #

      He is, actually. It’s why I hang on to him 🙂

      The trouble with helping him is that I always end up giving him more work. My spirit is willing but my flesh is absolutely useless 🙂


  3. Marion Driessen February 24, 2012 at 13:25 #

    Can’t stop chuckling, oh my 😀
    But you ARE brave! 😉


  4. misswhiplash February 24, 2012 at 13:26 #

    I did rather cringe when you mentioned earbuds down plug holes. But I have to congratulate you on at least trying to clear the yuck… you just made a pig’s ear out of it!

    Is it not possible , when washing , cutting, chopping hair to put some mesh over the plug hole then all you have to do it pick it up and brush down the loo!

    Only problem is what happens when the loo gets blocked with hair…an earbud will definitely not work!


    • Tilly Bud February 25, 2012 at 12:52 #

      Good idea! I could put it into the bin instead of the loo.


  5. viv blake February 24, 2012 at 13:27 #

    Hero Hub to the rescue. Come and see us again and I will cut your hair. – though that’s not to say that you don’t look very fetching with long hair.


    • Tilly Bud February 25, 2012 at 12:53 #

      Now that it’s long enough to do stuff with, I’m starting to enjoy it 🙂


  6. imexcited February 24, 2012 at 13:50 #

    Poor Hub! You had good intention though and you tried your best 🙂


  7. speccy February 24, 2012 at 14:14 #

    oops! and ear buds are so very handy for that sort of thing…


  8. sarsm February 24, 2012 at 14:27 #

    I’m starting to think that you and I might be related.

    Fear of flying, squeamishness, DIY challenged…

    I give you full marks for attempting to fix it yourself. And a box of Maltesers!!


    • Tilly Bud February 25, 2012 at 12:54 #

      I wonder if we were separated at birth?

      Though you do look way more fetching in a hat than I do.


      • sarsm February 25, 2012 at 13:20 #

        You wouldn’t believe how long I had to search for a hat Tilly. They normally make me look like a dwarf (as in one of the seven – the kids even start singing), or just a general idiot.

        I think that’s why I so like that picture, a hat that actually looks OK!! 😉


  9. kiwidutch February 24, 2012 at 16:59 #

    Our dentist says kids need their teeth brushed by an adult at least once a day until they are ten years old… and that he want’s to see the results in our kids teeth every appointment.

    Needless to say, I rather literally don’t have the stomach of this one… Himself got tossed this job faster than you can say “I need to heave…”

    I have a very old pair of useless tweezers for doing the hair/plug job.. get a hole drilled in the end so that you can attach a wrist string so you don’t drop them,
    ….have paper towels handy so that you can bury the evidence as quickly as possible ,… and plan this exercise on a day when you are feeling brave.


  10. SammyDee February 24, 2012 at 17:21 #

    Ooops! It could have been worse. I won’t go near any pipes for fear of flooding the place.


    • Tilly Bud February 25, 2012 at 12:56 #

      Sensible! I wish you’d mentioned it earlier 🙂


  11. Elaine February 24, 2012 at 17:56 #

    I am the plug unblocker in our house… no-one else seems to notice it needs to be done. 😦
    Your story made me laugh though, I didn’t see what was coming when you undid the screw… oooops! 🙂


  12. Al February 24, 2012 at 20:04 #

    Thanks, Tilly Bud, for removing the stigma associated with writing about hair gunk. Look for my next blog “Beard shavings…always clogging up the drain”, coming soon to a website near you.


  13. Sharp Little Pencil February 24, 2012 at 20:18 #

    Linda, I must have an iron stomach, except for anything having to do with Gatorade, the lemon-lime kind, which performed amazing feats of boomeranging during my labor. So funny you wrote about this, because here’s one that speaks to it, just posted!! Love and happy hairball-free days, (wink), Amy


    • Tilly Bud February 27, 2012 at 10:28 #

      So nice to see you again, Amy! On my way over there now.


  14. kateshrewsday February 24, 2012 at 22:05 #

    Well done for sorting it out, Tilly!


  15. SchmidleysScribbling February 24, 2012 at 22:50 #

    Good grief, you have inspired Big Al. What next.

    An aside: Last night I asked the prof if a study was “tops down” or “bottoms up.” Suddenly everyone laughed. I still don’t get it. Can you explain? Dianne


    • Tilly Bud February 27, 2012 at 10:31 #

      I really can’t. Perhaps it was all in the delivery?


  16. barb19 February 24, 2012 at 23:07 #

    You crack me up Tilly!


  17. earlybird February 25, 2012 at 13:57 #

    Great post, Tilly. I know that feeling of gagging over the slimy hair balls in the shower. I had to do it myself until the kids were old enough (6?) to do it for me under distant supervision.


  18. Grannymar February 25, 2012 at 15:30 #

    I have only me to blame, so ‘only me’ gets to clear it up! Somehow it is easier with short hair.


    • Tilly Bud February 27, 2012 at 10:32 #

      It sure is. This is a relatively recent problem for me, because my hair was always fairly short until the last few years.


  19. Pseu February 25, 2012 at 19:31 #

    I find an unwound wire coat hanger bent into a hook is a useful hair removing tool. But if the resulting removed strands have become gluggy with oily deposits (bath oil shaving oil) that can turn my cast iron stomach too –


    • Tilly Bud February 27, 2012 at 10:34 #

      Bleurgghh! I’m so sorry I started this conversation 😦


  20. eof737 March 1, 2012 at 06:45 #

    Good thing it ended on a good note… I had visions of a sewage backup… Sorry Tilly, I know that idea might make you barf.


I welcome your comments but be warned: I'm menopausal and as likely to snarl as smile. Wine or Maltesers are an acceptable bribe; or a compliment about my youthful looks and cheery disposition will do in a pinch.

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