Archive | 18:43

Facts, Because What Else Is There?

26 Feb

Or, I can’t think of anything to write about so here’s something from my email inbox sent to me by people who preferred emailing when they should be working but at least they’ve got a job so this is all sourness on my part.

A still photo of a Winston advertisement featu...

Image via Wikipedia

  • In the 1400s a law was set forth in England that a man was allowed to beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence we have ‘the rule of thumb’.  The Hub tried it on me once, hence ‘the rule of sore bum.’
  • The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV were Fred and Wilma Flintstone.
  • Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than for the U.S. Treasury.  It’s anyone’s guess which is worth more.
  • Coca-Cola was originally green.
  • Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
  • Tom Sawyer was the first novel to be written on a typewriter.
  • 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987, 654,321, proving once and for all that mathematicians have no sex life.
  • If you were to spell out numbers, you would have to go to one thousand before you reached the letter A.  My earlier comment refers.

You know you are living in 2012 when:

  • You haven’t played solitaire with real cards in years.
  • You call your family from your car in your drive to ask them to help bring in the groceries.
  • You have a list of fifteen phone numbers to reach your family of three.
  • You email the person who works at the next desk.
  • When you get up in the morning, you go online before making your first cup of tea.
  • You don’t stay in touch with friends and family because you don’t have their email addresses.
  • If you leave the house without your mobile, which you didn’t have for the first 20/30/60 years of life, you panic.

One more fact for you:

  • Don’t buy your Kindle books from eBay, otherwise you might find yourself reading, as I did, instead of the line He put his head in his hands, this gem: He put his head in his anus.

Joke 339

26 Feb

Three couples were having tea one day.  The conversation was somewhat desultory so one of the men, trying to get a laugh, said to his wife, “Pass the honey, honey!”  The others laughed.

A moment later, the second man said, “Pass the sugar, sugar!” This got a bigger laugh, so the third man decided to join in the fun.

He waited for the perfect opportunity, cleared his throat and then confidently said, “Pass the tea, bag!”

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