Archive | 12:15

The Trouble With Like

3 Mar

It’s not that I dislike Likes…

I like it when you Like me; I really do.  Thank you for Liking me.  But I made the mistake of ticking the Notify me by email when someone Likes my post box.  It was fine when only one or two of you Liked me; or even when the occasional stranger strolled into my blog, Liked what they read and strolled out again, never to return (they obviously didn’t Like it that much).  I am a good-mannered blogger and I always returned their visits.  But now more people Like me than used to Like me.  Not hundreds (sigh), but enough that I spend half my blogging time returning the call and Liking their posts, even when I don’t, because that’s the polite thing to do, isn’t it?

I was out of the office for two days last week (‘the office’ being my living room, where I spend all day blogging and no day cleaning; but I never watch daytime tv, so I have one redeeming quality) and I got back to a lot of Someone Liked your post emails.  Faced with the several hundred other emails (most of them your blog posts; the trouble with liking what I read during my polite visits is that I want to read more of what I like) in my inbox, I did something quite out of character: I deleted the Someone Liked your post emails.  ALL of them.  Then I unchecked the Notify me by email when someone Likes my post box.  (In case you don’t like what I did, let me tell you that I will always return a visit from a commenter, and I will return future Like visits whenever possible.)

I’m still waiting to be struck down dead for my insufferable and selfish rudeness.  But at least now I can watch Jerry Springer while I’m waiting.

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You can read more Six Word Saturdays here.  Give it a go: I’m sure you’ll like it.

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Joke 345

3 Mar

FromWill & Guy.

Unexpected Knowledge Gained From the Movies

  • During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.
  • All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.
  • The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.
  • Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.
  • When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.
  • A wall light switch will turn off every lamp in the room.
  • All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets that reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.
  • Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don’t worry about which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one.
  • It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts – your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
  • A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.


POSTSCRIPT

Tinman posted these in the comments.  They are too good not to share.

No matter how loudly a police car sounds its siren, a truck will always back out into its path while it is in pursuit of another car.

The more a couple dislike each other at the start of the a film the more certain it is that they will get off with each other before the end.

No-one ever has to unlock their cars before they get in to them.

A driver whose brakes have failed will always stamp the brake pedal several times, just in case they suddenly decide to come back on.

Any police officer who says “just two days to go to retirement” should just shoot himself and save the bad guys the trouble.

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