Joke 345

3 Mar

FromWill & Guy.

Unexpected Knowledge Gained From the Movies

  • During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.
  • All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.
  • The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.
  • Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.
  • When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.
  • A wall light switch will turn off every lamp in the room.
  • All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets that reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.
  • Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don’t worry about which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one.
  • It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts – your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
  • A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.


POSTSCRIPT

Tinman posted these in the comments.  They are too good not to share.

No matter how loudly a police car sounds its siren, a truck will always back out into its path while it is in pursuit of another car.

The more a couple dislike each other at the start of the a film the more certain it is that they will get off with each other before the end.

No-one ever has to unlock their cars before they get in to them.

A driver whose brakes have failed will always stamp the brake pedal several times, just in case they suddenly decide to come back on.

Any police officer who says “just two days to go to retirement” should just shoot himself and save the bad guys the trouble.

15 Responses to “Joke 345”

  1. McGuffyAnn March 3, 2012 at 04:59 #

    ROFL!!

    Like

  2. slpmartin March 3, 2012 at 05:01 #

    Although I go to few movies…these seem pretty much on target for the ones I’ve seen.

    Like

    • Tilly Bud March 3, 2012 at 14:13 #

      I watch them on the telly – easier, cheaper, no annoying chatterers, and I get to pause it every time I need the loo.

      Like

  3. Aspergers Girls March 3, 2012 at 06:00 #

    I love the crying at woman patching the man’s wound. lol

    Like

  4. dianne - "life as i see it" - "just because" March 3, 2012 at 13:45 #

    lolololol.. ; )

    Like

  5. Grannymar March 3, 2012 at 15:37 #

    Big strong men, huh! They are all putty in our hands, 😆

    Like

  6. Tinman March 3, 2012 at 18:28 #

    No matter how loudly a police car sounds its siren, a truck will always back out into its path while it is in pursuit of another car.

    The more a couple dislike each other at the start of the a film the more certain it is that they will get off with each other before the end.

    No-one ever has to unlock their cars before they get in to them.

    A driver whose brakes have failed will always stamp the brake pedal several times, just in case they suddenly decide to come back on.

    Any police officer who says “just two days to go to retirement” should just shoot himself and save the bad guys the trouble.

    Like

    • Tilly Bud March 4, 2012 at 10:46 #

      These are good. I’m going to add them to the post because not everyone reads the comments.

      Like

      • Tinman March 4, 2012 at 14:28 #

        Thank you, I feel honoured.

        (BTW, I’ve done a special drawing for you)

        Like

  7. Jeff March 4, 2012 at 04:28 #

    Love it! The first one on the list goes for all CSI episodes, too.

    Like

  8. lanceleuven March 5, 2012 at 11:11 #

    So true! I was particularly glad to hear about the bomb one, I no longer have to live in fear of finding myself in such situations.

    Like

I welcome your comments but be warned: I'm menopausal and as likely to snarl as smile. Wine or Maltesers are an acceptable bribe; or a compliment about my youthful looks and cheery disposition will do in a pinch.

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