Archive | 12:24

The Laughing Plumber

10 Mar

A stranger made me laugh yesterday

Hundertwasser Toilets

Hundertwasser Toilets (Photo credit: sbisson)

A leaking toilet is no laughing matter – you’d think; I beg to differ.  A Stockport Homes plumber came out yesterday to fix our downstairs loo – thankfully, leaking on the way in, not the way out.  He was quick and efficient and had time to chat over his coffee while a round thing sat in a bowl of boiling water, expanding and waiting to be fitted.

The Hub was keeping him company in the hallway while I was sitting at the computer.  We were both startled when the plumber suddenly confided, I broke up with my girlfriend last week.  Sympathetic noises from the Hub and then the plumber continued, She didn’t like me being a plumber so I had to tell her, “It’s over, Flo.”

And then he was off – rapid-fire one-liners, like he was in a virtual comedy war game and we were the enemy.  They came at us from every side and I wrote down as many as I could but I missed at least half, so you’ll have to make do with these:

  • I read a book on the history of superglue.  I couldn’t put it down.
  • I asked the barman for a bottle of water.  He asked me, ‘Still?’ ‘Yes,’ I said; ‘I haven’t changed my mind.’
  • I went shopping at the Trafford Centre.  I accidentally used my organ donor card instead of my credit card.  It cost me an arm and a leg.
  • Did you know six out of seven dwarves aren’t happy?
  • A woman tried to sell me a brand new, fifty-inch HD tv.  I thought it might be stolen but she said it was because the remote didn’t work.  I couldn’t turn it down.
  • I had double glazing windows installed but I could still feel a draught.  That was a pain.

Next time I run out of material for the daily joke, I’m sabotaging the upstairs toilet.

And if they didn’t make you smile, the story of a pod of rescued dolphins might.

Read more Six Word Saturdays here.

Joke 352

10 Mar

Two men playing golf were held up by two women playing in front of them. One man said, “I’ll go and tell them to hurry up.” 

He got halfway and came back.  When he returned he said, “I have a problem: one of the women is my wife and the other one is my mistress.” 

The second man answered, “Okay; I’ll do it.  I’ll tell them to hurry them up.” 

He got halfway and came back.  “I can’t do it, either; we have the same problem.”

 

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