Too, Too Much

27 Mar

Today, I have cobbled together and updated two posts from two years ago, telling two separate stories of my two sons.  I enjoyed re-reading them.  I hope that you enjoy them, too.

I have such an embarrassing mother...

Tory Boy, the aspiring politician and future world dictator, joined (is that site still around?) in 2010.  Anyone can ask you any question and you can answer them.

He had lots of political questions:

Q: If after the election we have a hung parliament, how would you like to see the situation resolved?

A: Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah [Far too dull for The Laughing Housewife blog; you come here for a laugh, not a nap.]

I preferred the personal:

Q: Are you eating properly?

A: Stop nagging.

Guess who asked that one? 

Here’s one I didn’t ask:

Q: Boxers or briefs (or other)?

A: Boxers. Always. Also, other? What the hell? No, just no.

I liked his answer to it so much, I Liked it on Facebook.  Five minutes later I received an outraged phone call from my son asking me to Unlike it immediately and to refrain from liking his underwear on a public forumAnd in private, come to think of it.  It was just wrong on so many levels he would have to deny I was his parent if we were ever together in public.

That really made me laugh: as if I’d ever admit that a politician was related to me, let alone be seen with him in public.  How embarrassing would that be?

Love me, love the boy who thinks he owns me...

You wait ages for a child, then one comes along every three minutes.  In this instance, the same child. 

Spud left for school this morning in the usual manner: me hassling him and telling him he’s going to be late if he doesn’t get a move on will you just hurry UP!  and him…taking…his…time…I’ll be fine…don’t worry. 

Sometimes, I hate being proved right.  Our creaky door bell – creaky because the battery is dying and instead of a chirpy ding-dong! we get a biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggggggggggg…boooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggcough…splutter…fade… announced his return, three minutes after he had left the house two minutes late.  He missed the bus because it was five minutes early which, by my calculation, means if a = plus2 and b = minus5 then c = too long in the bathroom with the hair gel; remainder ten, as in, leave the house ten minutes earlier tomorrow if you want to be sure of getting your bus.

He tantrummed on the doorstep along the lines of busesIhatebusesbusesarerubbishwhydowehavetohavebusestheymakemelate? for a couple of minutes; explained that he had come to tell me he was going to be late for school because he had no money on his phone  – let me clarify in case that whizzed over your head as it did mine, first time around: he was telling me he had no money on his phone which was why he had come to tell me that he had missed his bus, not that he had missed his bus because he had no money on his phone.  Got that?  Me neither.  Then he stomped off to the bus stop for the 8:05 bus, which would make him late for school. 

I returned to the important business of and thought no more of it.   Five minutes later the familiar biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggggggggggg…boooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggcough…splutter…fade… interrupted the first chance I have had to beat my high score on Rainbow Rescue in months.  It was Spud, enraged, at the door.  He had come to tell me he had missed his second bus as a consequence of coming to tell me he had missed his first bus and now he was going to be reallllllllly late for school.  Stupid buses! 

I sent him away with the warning not to come and tell me if he missed his third bus, but to take the radical decision to stay put.

Kids!  They are so selfish – it’s going to be weeks before I get close to beating my high score again.

28 Responses to “Too, Too Much”

  1. sanstorm March 27, 2012 at 11:03 #

    Most people moan their kids tell them nothing.


  2. jmgoyder March 27, 2012 at 12:53 #

    We have a son thing in common – that’s for sure!


    • Tilly Bud March 29, 2012 at 09:57 #

      At the very least. I also have a rowdy rabble around, wanting feeding, and shedding all the time. At least you can roast yours if you get hungry… 😉


  3. laurieanichols March 27, 2012 at 13:23 #

    Two thoughts, I too have been berated for liking something on Facebook, by the baby girl. Both of my children have missed their buses and come home to tell me. We don’t have late buses so I’d have to drive them to school, on the way down my thoughts wouldn’t be the motherly nurturing thoughts, they would be the motherly worried thoughts of “if you can’t be on time for a school bus what is it going to be like when you get older and it really counts!” not very charitable I know. I wish that we had had late buses.


    • Tilly Bud March 29, 2012 at 10:01 #

      They are the big yellow school buses, right? Spud gets a scheduled bus (two, actually) so all he had to do was wait for the next one. Talk about dozy. There’s no denying his gene pool.


  4. mairedubhtx March 27, 2012 at 13:49 #

    Your kids sound so unbelievably normal. How lucky you are! You may not realize it now, especially after the bus incident, but they are precious gems.


  5. Maggie L R March 27, 2012 at 14:06 #

    Histerical, I have to be careful with my grandchildrens facebook “likes” so I can relate.
    Kids are so inconsiderate interupting good alone time with a game… so funny…


  6. vivinfrance March 27, 2012 at 16:28 #

    Kids? Who’d ‘ave ’em?


  7. SchmidleysScribbling March 27, 2012 at 16:30 #

    With all those interruptions from Spud, I forgot what you were doing. I am happy to see you are not the only one with a child who has asked you to unfriend them on Facebook. Dianne


  8. SchmidleysScribbling March 27, 2012 at 16:31 #

    PS has anyone ever told Viv in France she looks like a Vicar in that photo??


    • Tilly Bud March 29, 2012 at 10:03 #

      I don’t think anyone would ever dare…until now. I bet you two would get along great! You should visit her blog.


  9. gigihawaii March 27, 2012 at 17:26 #

    wait til you have to babysit your grandkids for free. You’ll love it.


    • Tilly Bud March 29, 2012 at 10:04 #

      You mean I can’t charge for my services? 😦


  10. Perfecting Motherhood March 27, 2012 at 19:04 #

    Shouldn’t the title be: Two, too much. Oh wait, maybe Two, too many? 😉
    Love your kid stories. They make me look forward to what’s coming with my own kids.


    • Tilly Bud March 29, 2012 at 10:04 #

      They are only funny in retrospect. You have to be dragged through hell first. Enjoy!


  11. kateshrewsday March 27, 2012 at 22:12 #

    They certainly are the spice of life, Tilly 🙂


  12. molly March 28, 2012 at 04:02 #

    Tilly, relax, chill. The boyz are OK – normal as Yorkshire pud! cheers cathul8r molly


  13. granny1947 March 28, 2012 at 04:09 #

    You interrupted your game for a kid???
    You are a bigger person than me!


    • Tilly Bud March 29, 2012 at 10:17 #

      There’s no need to remind me about my weight 😉


  14. eof737 March 29, 2012 at 06:00 #

    Be blessed … they are great kids. 😉


    • Tilly Bud March 29, 2012 at 10:18 #

      That’s what they say. I’m not convinced 😉


  15. Al April 1, 2012 at 15:06 #

    I’m late reading this post. That picture of (Spud?) with the dog is priceless.


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