Archive | 13:33

Our Little Girl Is Four Today

7 May

Molly and Toby came to us at different times from different homes, but they are the same age; there are five days between them.  Here’s Molly:

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Molly has just come out of season; the third time since we got her.  It reminds me of the first time it happened [shudder]: I dug out the old post I wrote in my distress, and edited it.

It’s that time of year: Molly is in season and we have covered all seats and ourselves with old throws.  She spends her time licking her bottom and ignoring my reproachful and repellant looks.

I have never been around a dog in season before.  I can’t say I’m in favour of it.  I don’t think she is, either: she appears confused and doesn’t know what to do with herself when her tongue is at rest.  Nature is disgusting.

The Hub has taken charge, having grown up around breeding dogs and cats.  He is a great believer in female domestic animals having a litter before sterilisation – particularly when, like Molly, they have had a phantom pregnancy.  He found a mate for her in Bolton.  He and Spud took her, primped and perfumed to look her best for the great ugly brute about to violate her.  He is another Yorkshire Terrier called Toby.  Our own Toby is de-testicled and hasn’t paid her any of that sort of attention at all.  I guess, if you can’t find love at home you will play away….

I couldn’t go with them.  I felt like a mother pimping out a beloved child and I couldn’t bear to watch her deflowering.  The Hub, of course, took a camera – for a picture of the father, I hasten to add.  He wanted to document the process which never happened: from innocent little girl to being loaned out as a baby factory to motherhood to having her beautiful babies snatched from her bosom…my dog, the pawn star.



Joke 410

7 May
Gulf Coast League Twins

Gulf Coast League Twins (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Four men met at a hospital where their wives were giving birth.  A nurse approached Adam and said, “Congratulations, it’s twins.”

Adam said, “That’s a coincidence, I work for the Minnesota Twins.”

Soon after, a nurse told Brian, “Congratulations, you’ve got triplets.”

Brian said, “Another coincidence: I’m a director for 3 Musketeers.”

Another nurse arrived to tell Chad, “Congratulations!  It’s quads!” Chad laughed and said, “And I work at a Four Seasons hotel.”

Suddenly, Dave fainted.  When he came to, Adam, Brian and Chad asked what happened.

Dave gulped, “I work for 7-Eleven…”

%d bloggers like this: