Archive | 12:13

Seven Of Nine, And Not In A Good Way

29 May

Dear Readers, I apologise: excluding the daily jokes, seven of my last nine posts mentioned blogging, improvements to blogging, problems with blogging, faulty blogging and why blogging is killing me, one white screen at a time.  To quote the best tv series ever made – The West Wing – I should Just change the subject!

But I can’t, of course, because I’m blogsessed.  To quote the second-best series ever made – Star Trek – Resistance is futile.

The good news is, the problems appear to have been fixed: I have not had to refresh my Facebook connection once in 24 hours (instead of having to do it 24 times in one hour); comments no longer disappear; pictures now appear; and the white screens have returned to their parallel universe, where Frustrated Me lives in a permanent state of Munch’s Scream.

One of several versions of the painting "...

One of several versions of the painting “The Scream”. The National Gallery, Oslo, Norway. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I have answered as many of the comments on my own blog as I can – I had problems commenting here, as well, but I had to just do it.  I eventually gave up because I needed to regenerate (white wine-Maltesers-hot shower).  I have tried to catch up with your blogs but if I missed some, I apologise. 

As a thank you for your patience, here are seven of nine reasons not to date Seven of Nine (actually, these are seven of 45, but that kills the theme.  Read the rest here, where I found them):

  1. The two of you have a little too much syntho-tequila, steal the Holodeck’s portable emitter, undergo a minor transporter malfunction, and “Boom!” you’re a daddy.
  2. The first two and a half hours of any romantic encounter are spent trying to find the zipper on that damn catsuit. 
  3. At the monthly Voyager Beer Bash, inebriated crew members keep shouldering you aside to use the bottle opener on Seven’s forehead.
  4. The Collective has assimilated detailed knowledge of the sexual practices of thousands of species, and who needs that kind of pressure?
  5. Her old roommate, Eighty-Four of Eighty-Five, always wants to tag along.
  6. 198,874,987,293,128,154 in-laws.
  7. Automatic response to “Was it good for you too?” is always, “Pleasure is irrelevant.”

For those of you who are not Star Trek fans, here’s a West Wing joke:



No joke.  I got nuthin’.  The show was often funny, but I can’t find a joke about it.  8,340,000 possible results, and nuthin’. 

Have a Scream cartoon instead:

Finally, this won’t make you scream with laughter, but it amused me:

From the Arts Council:  Arts Jobs: Wanted: tramsgendered performance artists

I wonder how much training they need?


And if you think this post is weird, wandering all over the place, making no sense, have a word with WordPress – they drove me to it.

Make it so.

Joke 432

29 May


Throat Lozenges

Throat Lozenges (Photo credit: incurable_hippie)

This one came straight out of BC.




Show me a librarian with a sore throat, and I’ll show you a hoarse whisperer.



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