Joke 436

2 Jun

 

Dolmen

These are not really jokes, but they are amusing all the same.  They come courtesy of my dear friend Vivinfrance.  Enjoy!

In the English language newspaper Connexion in December there was a list of the howlers of baccalaureat (Bac-a-laugh-a-lot) candidates.

  • A square is a rectangle with one side a bit shorter
  • The 100 Years War lasted from 1914 to 1918
  • Napoleon was his grandfather’s nephew
  • The Normandy landings took place in England
  • The Maginot Line was built to keep out an invasion of German tourists
  • Plankton was an old Greek philosopher
  • The Egyptians transformed dead people into mummies so as to keep them alive
  • The Armistice is a war which ends each year on November 11
  • China is the country with the biggest population: one billion per square kilometre
  • Dolmens were kind of bus shelters every 100 metres
  • To make eggs, the hen has to be fermented by the cockerel
  • In the Roman circus, the radiators ate the lions to make people laugh
  • The successor of Lenin was Stallone
  • Asphyxia is a heart attack while breathing electric current
  • It is forbidden to arrest someone in their absence
  • When the hunting season is closed, it is strictly forbidden to open it.
  • In the Middle Ages, fire made smoke.
  • Children are often born young.

29 Responses to “Joke 436”

  1. Megan Broutian June 2, 2012 at 04:34 #

    Love these!

    Like

  2. terry1954 June 2, 2012 at 04:35 #

    interesting facts

    Like

    • Tilly Bud June 2, 2012 at 10:30 #

      Interesting false facts 🙂

      Like

      • terry1954 June 2, 2012 at 15:12 #

        still interesting though, it took some thinking to come up with those. as i said before, i love reading what you post!!! good job

        Like

  3. siggiofmaine June 2, 2012 at 04:45 #

    Big SIGH. But know there are more out there just like these…my granddaughter when in school in Boston, MA, USA, said there were people who thought Maine was in Canada.
    Thanks, Viv in France ☺♥.
    Peace,
    Siggi in Downeast Maine, USA

    Like

    • Tilly Bud June 2, 2012 at 10:31 #

      I once heard an American ask if Wales was in England 🙂

      Like

  4. misswhiplash June 2, 2012 at 07:14 #

    Now i know the answers to all the questions I have asked myself…very good

    Like

  5. Tom (Aquatom1968) June 2, 2012 at 07:21 #

    Ah yes… I remember Plankton from school, Tilly.

    Like

  6. granny1947 June 2, 2012 at 08:41 #

    Love the last one. 🙂

    Like

  7. Pseu June 2, 2012 at 14:50 #

    ‘Asphyxia is a heart attack while breathing electric current’ – interesting, and all completely bobkers.

    Like

  8. thefreshmanexperience June 2, 2012 at 15:20 #

    Awesome! I wish I collect student bloopers over the years. One that comes to mind is when a student claimed Romeo and Juliet were siblings. I never want to read that version.

    Like

    • Tilly Bud June 2, 2012 at 16:06 #

      You gave me the best laugh of the day! Thanks 🙂

      There’s no link to your blog so I’m afraid I can’t return the visit 😦

      Like

  9. Food Stories June 2, 2012 at 15:38 #

    I love these 🙂

    Like

  10. judithatwood June 2, 2012 at 17:47 #

    These are great!

    Like

  11. viveka June 2, 2012 at 18:12 #

    Many American’s think that Copenhagen is the capital of Sweden … or that Stockholm lays in Switzerland.

    Like

  12. grannymar June 3, 2012 at 15:05 #

    Hey Tilly, where did you find my exam paper?

    Like

  13. lanceleuven June 3, 2012 at 16:32 #

    Very good. But I’d like to know what the original question to this one was:

    In the Roman circus, the radiators ate the lions to make people laugh

    What the hell! Am I missing something?

    Like

    • Tilly Bud June 4, 2012 at 08:22 #

      I’d say yes, based solely on the comments you leave on this blog 😉

      Like

      • lanceleuven June 4, 2012 at 08:27 #

        Hah! Although perhaps the term ‘something’ is an understatement, and perhaps ‘many things’ would be a more correct description!

        Like

  14. katharinetrauger June 5, 2012 at 15:46 #

    Okay. I’m not supposed to be on the Internet right now, so how do I stop this laughing noise that’s comin from under my desk?! Guess I’ll see if there are any wp techies who can help me? 😉

    Like

  15. Perfecting Motherhood June 10, 2012 at 00:20 #

    The radiators ate the lions! Man, I’d love to have been there to see it.

    Like

  16. sarsm June 22, 2012 at 10:18 #

    And to think how much their parents pay for their education!!

    Thank you for making me laugh. Again!

    Like

I welcome your comments but be warned: I'm menopausal and as likely to snarl as smile. Wine or Maltesers are an acceptable bribe; or a compliment about my youthful looks and cheery disposition will do in a pinch.

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