Archive | 09:12

It’s A Dog’s Life

9 Jun

Molly: A Day In The Life

  • Scratch at Mummy’s door but she can’t hear me over her avalanche impression.
  • Go potty.
  • Bark to wake up Mummy.
  • Watch her stand in my poo and go potty.
  • Hide in the cushion like a cutie pie.
  • Get cuddled for reassurance that Mummy loves me despite what she is sure is a mistake on my part.  Phew.
  • Love Mummy.  Love Mummy.  Love Mummy.
  • Demand breakfast.
  • Turn nose up at breakfast.
  • Let Mummy hand feed me my breakfast of expensive tinned dog meat.
  • Love Mummy.  Manage a sticky lick to her face.
  • Love Mummy.  Wonder why she’s looking a little nauseated.
  • Sleep behind Mummy while she’s at the computer. 
  • Wake up, irritated by the noise Mummy makes when she falls off her little bit of the seat.
  • Love Mummy: if I’m going to be awake, I might as well enjoy it.
  • Watch Mummy trying to type one-handed while I sit on her lap for an extended belly rub.
  • Sleep.
  • Take the occasional sniff at Toby’s bottom, particularly when he wants a fuss off Mummy.

  • Drool as Mummy eats lunch.
  • Refuse to let her up until I get my tithe. 
  • Sleep, exhausted from eating my protection money.
  • Demand walk.
  • Tolerate grooming/harness, putting on of/coat, putting on of/coat, taking off of, harness, taking off of/coat, putting on of/harness, putting on of.
  • See rain.  Refuse to leave house.
  • Tolerate harness, taking off of/coat, taking off of.
  • Love Mummy.  Love Mummy.  Love Mummy.
  • Sleep.
  • Ignore the weird kid, who sleeps in the room next door to Mummy, when he comes downstairs, eats, grunts, and returns to his hole.
  • Drool as Mummy eats dinner.
  • Refuse to let her up until I get my tithe.
  • Demand dinner.
  • Turn nose up at dinner.
  • Let Mummy hand feed me my dinner of expensive soft pellets.
  • Love Mummy.  Love Mummy.  Love Mummy.
  • Sleep.
  • Cuddle Daddy while Mummy’s busy, keeping my eyes trained at all times on Mummy.

 

  • Love Mummy.  Love Mummy.  Love Mummy.
  • Stick to Mummy like poo to her toes as she prepares for bed; she’s going nowhere without me.
  • Wait patiently to be lifted on to the bed because I’m too feeble to jump up myself.
  • Have extended cuddle until Mummy’s arms ache, her tea goes cold and she knocks her Kindle onto the floor while trying to reach around me.
  • Love Mummy.  Love Mummy.  Love Mummy.
  • Sleep. 
  • Disturbed by Mummy trying to get comfortable on her tenth of the bed.
  • Wait until she settles then sit on the most awkward part of her body (varies according to whether she’s lying on her front, back or side).
  • Sleep. 
  • Disturbed by Daddy giving me a goodnight cuddle before he puts me out of the room so he can go to bed.
  • Intensely dislike Daddy for separating me from Mummy.
  • Wait for Daddy to fall asleep and try to sneak back in, jump easily onto the bed and wiggle my way between them, sleeping long ways to get comfortable; but he’s on to me and he shuts the door properly this time.
  • Love Mummy.  Love Mummy.  Love Mummy.  Can’t be separated from Mummy.
  • Scratch at Mummy’s door but she can’t hear me over her avalanche impression.
  • Go potty.

 

Joke 443

9 Jun
Math Fun

Math Fun (Photo credit: *Kitto)

Thanks to Elaine at I Used To Be Indecisive for these two.

 

 

Did you hear about the explosion in the pie factory?

3.141592 people were injured.

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There are 10 kinds of mathematicians.

Those who can think binarily and those who can’t.

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