It’s A Dog’s Life

Molly: A Day In The Life

• Scratch at Mummy’s door but she can’t hear me over her avalanche impression.
• Go potty.
• Bark to wake up Mummy.
• Watch her stand in my poo and go potty.
• Hide in the cushion like a cutie pie.
• Get cuddled for reassurance that Mummy loves me despite what she is sure is a mistake on my part.  Phew.
• Love Mummy.  Love Mummy.  Love Mummy.
• Demand breakfast.
• Turn nose up at breakfast.
• Let Mummy hand feed me my breakfast of expensive tinned dog meat.
• Love Mummy.  Manage a sticky lick to her face.
• Love Mummy.  Wonder why she’s looking a little nauseated.
• Sleep behind Mummy while she’s at the computer. 
• Wake up, irritated by the noise Mummy makes when she falls off her little bit of the seat.
• Love Mummy: if I’m going to be awake, I might as well enjoy it.
• Watch Mummy trying to type one-handed while I sit on her lap for an extended belly rub.
• Sleep.
• Take the occasional sniff at Toby’s bottom, particularly when he wants a fuss off Mummy.

• Drool as Mummy eats lunch.
• Refuse to let her up until I get my tithe. 
• Sleep, exhausted from eating my protection money.
• Demand walk.
• Tolerate grooming/harness, putting on of/coat, putting on of/coat, taking off of, harness, taking off of/coat, putting on of/harness, putting on of.
• See rain.  Refuse to leave house.
• Tolerate harness, taking off of/coat, taking off of.
• Love Mummy.  Love Mummy.  Love Mummy.
• Sleep.
• Ignore the weird kid, who sleeps in the room next door to Mummy, when he comes downstairs, eats, grunts, and returns to his hole.
• Drool as Mummy eats dinner.
• Refuse to let her up until I get my tithe.
• Demand dinner.
• Turn nose up at dinner.
• Let Mummy hand feed me my dinner of expensive soft pellets.
• Love Mummy.  Love Mummy.  Love Mummy.
• Sleep.
• Cuddle Daddy while Mummy’s busy, keeping my eyes trained at all times on Mummy.

 

• Love Mummy.  Love Mummy.  Love Mummy.
• Stick to Mummy like poo to her toes as she prepares for bed; she’s going nowhere without me.
• Wait patiently to be lifted on to the bed because I’m too feeble to jump up myself.
• Have extended cuddle until Mummy’s arms ache, her tea goes cold and she knocks her Kindle onto the floor while trying to reach around me.
• Love Mummy.  Love Mummy.  Love Mummy.
• Sleep. 
• Disturbed by Mummy trying to get comfortable on her tenth of the bed.
• Wait until she settles then sit on the most awkward part of her body (varies according to whether she’s lying on her front, back or side).
• Sleep. 
• Disturbed by Daddy giving me a goodnight cuddle before he puts me out of the room so he can go to bed.
• Intensely dislike Daddy for separating me from Mummy.
• Wait for Daddy to fall asleep and try to sneak back in, jump easily onto the bed and wiggle my way between them, sleeping long ways to get comfortable; but he’s on to me and he shuts the door properly this time.
• Love Mummy.  Love Mummy.  Love Mummy.  Can’t be separated from Mummy.
• Scratch at Mummy’s door but she can’t hear me over her avalanche impression.
• Go potty.

 

Joke 443

Math Fun (Photo credit: *Kitto)

Thanks to Elaine at I Used To Be Indecisive for these two.

 

 

Did you hear about the explosion in the pie factory?

3.141592 people were injured.

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There are 10 kinds of mathematicians.

Those who can think binarily and those who can’t.

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