Archive | 16:05

Funnied Out

11 Jun

 

Tilly & Hub in happier days, when she was smarter than him.

A conversation:

Me: I bought milk from Farmfoods.  A pound each, but on offer at two for £1.80.  That’s 90p each.  I did the maths for you because I know how you struggle.

Hub: I didn’t realise you’d borrowed my calculator.

*

The most dreadful realisation came upon me: I had no comeback. 

I need a break at the funny farm. 

Strangely, the Hub agrees with me.

&

Joke 445

11 Jun

 

Portrait of a man with a large moustache

Portrait of a man with a large moustache (Photo credit: Australian National Maritime Museum on The Commons)

I’ve seen variations of this in several places, so I pulled the best ones together.

Why it’s good to be a man:

* You don’t have to change your last name.
* The garage is all yours.
* Wedding plans take care of themselves.
* You can never be pregnant.
* Chocolate is just another snack.
* You can open all your own jars.
* You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
* Car mechanics tell you the truth.
* Your underwear is £10 for a three-pack.
* You never have strap problems in public.
* People never stare at your chest when you’re talking to them.
* New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
* You can do your nails with a pocket knife.
* Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
* You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
* Everything on your face stays its original colour.
* You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.
* You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
* You can do Christmas shopping for thirty relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

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