J Is For ‘J’

12 Jun

 

Another in my occasional series, A to Z of The Laughing Housewife.

I can’t think of anything that begins with J that might be of interest to you, so I will pluck some J words from the air and see what comes up.

I’ve had jobs:

  • Waitress
  • Till Operator
  • Sales Assistant
  • Receiving Clerk
  • Worked In The Office But I Can’t Remember My Title Clerk
  • Assistant Chief Clerk
  • Chief Clerk
  • Account Executive
  • Don’t Think This Was A Demotion, Reader, Because It Was Not Wages Clerk
  • Another One I Can’t Remember Clerk
  • Doctors Get Called This One When They Run Things But I Wasn’t A Doctor And I Worked In A Secretarial College*
  • Mother
  • Office Temp

*Registrar

The second-to-last one is my favourite-ever job, and I have never regretted giving up full-time paid work to do it, though less vomit and more chocolate would have been nice.

When Spud met Megan at age six, and went round to her house on a play date, Megan’s mother asked him what his mother did.  Spud told the truth as he saw it: ‘She sits and reads the paper.’

I’ve had jabs:

My BCG scar

I don’t understand the hatred for Justin Bieber.  The boy loves his mother so he can’t be all bad.

I know who Jigglypuff is, and I can sing his/her song.  But I don’t know what sex it is.  I was too busy reading my paper to pay close attention.

We once had a five-year plan for me to graduate, take a Teaching English as a Foreign Language course, and for all of us to move to Japan for a few years.  Then Spud got a full bursary to an outstanding school, Tory Boy went to university, and I took up blogging instead.

 

Gyllenhaal as Donnie Darko, 2001

Gyllenhaal as Donnie Darko, 2001 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I always confuse Jake Gyllenhaal with Tobey Maguire.  I know one of them was Spiderman and one of them got snowed in to a New York library, but that’s it. 

Tobey Maguire. (Cut away photo, from Image:Tob...

Tobey Maguire. (Cut away photo, from Image:Tobey Maguire and Jennifer Meyer by David Shankbone.jpg) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

I don’t know what jute is, and I don’t particularly care.

I believe that the only way to treat new jeans is to bash them around a bit and then throw them into the bottom of your wardrobe.  My sons take this belief to its extreme and do it with all of their clothing.

I like jigsaws.

I am not jealous by nature, though I will occasionally covet a packet of crisps when I’ve already had my day’s packet.

I would love to do jury duty.

Juxtaposition is one of my favourite words.

I’ve had friends called Jackie/Jacqui. One was the school librarian when I was in sixth form. She and her partner painted each of their thirteen wooden stairs a different colour; and grew cannabis in the spare bedroom where I sometimes slept.

Another now lives on a boat in the Bahamas and teaches in a girls’ school. She would take a bottle of Pomagne to birthday parties; give it as her present; then drink the contents.

Print advertisement for Pomagne cider

Print advertisement for Pomagne cider (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

No wonder she can afford a boat in the Bahamas. Her Dad had a warm heart, the widest smile and the yellowest teeth I ever saw.

I still have to tell you 555 jokes in order to complete my 101/1001 challenge of telling a joke a day for 1001 days.

And I just had to use a calculator to work that out.

Did I mention I was once an Accounts Clerk?

*

*

25 Responses to “J Is For ‘J’”

  1. idiosyncratic eye June 12, 2012 at 16:39 #

    Juxtaposition is a cool word and the word ‘clerk’ appears quite a lot in your list of employment! 🙂

    Like

  2. gigihawaii June 12, 2012 at 16:45 #

    What a cute post! You mixed humor with memoir — my favorite kind of blog.

    Like

  3. laurieanichols June 12, 2012 at 17:03 #

    I like the word juxtaposition as well. It’s easy to spell, just sound it out and it has a pretty ring to it. I like jute, it’s a cool word and it means a strong coarse fiber, good to make burlap and it comes from two East Indian plants. Mother is the best job albeit comes with vomit and other stuff and my kids thought that I did nothing as well.

    Like

  4. Patti June 12, 2012 at 17:16 #

    Justifiably jam-packed! A joy to read.

    Like

  5. Viveka June 12, 2012 at 20:21 #

    Love that part …. about Japan … and you took up blogging instead *laughter – one of your best posts. Clerk must be some … very common job in UK – everybody is a clerk in some respect, paid or not paid.

    Like

    • Tilly Bud June 13, 2012 at 11:25 #

      I was a clerk in South Africa. I don’t think it’s a job title in this country 🙂

      Like

  6. smilesandhappiness June 12, 2012 at 20:47 #

    I love your posts, they always make me laugh! I nominated you for the sunshine award, it’s all yours! check it out: http://smilesandhappiness.wordpress.com/
    xx

    Like

  7. kateshrewsday June 12, 2012 at 22:00 #

    This reads like my favourite Dr Seuss alphabet book! Lovely 😀
    Jute: all I know is, it has to be said in a Lancashire accent. A string one. Phil does a very good jute.

    Like

    • Tilly Bud June 13, 2012 at 11:27 #

      I suppose Scouse could count as a Lancashire accent…?

      You just gave me the theme of my first ebook! Thanks!

      Like

  8. robincoyle June 13, 2012 at 01:12 #

    Ha ha. What is till clerk?

    Like

    • Tilly Bud June 13, 2012 at 11:28 #

      Till Operator. You might say ‘cashier’?

      Like

  9. katharinetrauger June 13, 2012 at 04:23 #

    The comic was a definite lol! Thanks!

    Like

  10. The Wanderlust Gene June 13, 2012 at 05:44 #

    Almost half way! Where’s that list – how’re you going on the other 100? 🙂

    Like

  11. eof737 June 13, 2012 at 05:49 #

    You’ve been busy. 😉

    Like

  12. grannymar June 13, 2012 at 20:39 #

    I bet you were a junior clerk at the beginning! that was before you moved up the ladder to be a lady of leisure. 😉

    Like

  13. vivinfrance June 14, 2012 at 09:44 #

    Remember the first time you at bread and JAM?

    I’ve been various kinds of clerk in my early days – the worst is filing clerk. Now I file on the heap system. You know where it is because it’s in the heap. You get distracted looking for it by reading all the other stuff in the heap. But at least you know where it is.

    Like

    • vivinfrance June 14, 2012 at 09:45 #

      My keyboard can’t keep up with my brain. ATE b & j

      Like

  14. bluebee June 15, 2012 at 11:18 #

    Why didn’t we have a cool librarian like that? In primary school we had a ferocious librarian – he was a Scotsman named Mr Tate who used to rap the boys over the knuckles with his ruler and call them “thick heads” – I can still see his pointy face looming large

    Like

  15. benzeknees July 21, 2012 at 00:22 #

    I think I could manage a couple more like Jersey (as in Jersey shore, Jersey cow & Jersey milk chocolate bar), ju jubes (which I love, especially when covered in chocolate) & justice which I don’t know what to say about except I can’t find a way to link it with chocolate no matter how hard I think. Oh wait, what about juggler?

    Like

I welcome your comments but be warned: I'm menopausal and as likely to snarl as smile. Wine or Maltesers are an acceptable bribe; or a compliment about my youthful looks and cheery disposition will do in a pinch.

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