Joke 446

12 Jun

 

English: A woman with a finger moustache tattoo.

English: A woman with a finger moustache tattoo. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Today’s joke comes at the request of Viv, who wants me to redress the balance after yesterday’s joke.

Why it’s good to be a woman:

  • We got off the Titanic first.
  • Taxis stop for us.
  • We don’t look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
  • It’s cool to be a daddy’s girl. It’s sad to be a mummy’s boy.
  • If a woman cheats on her spouse everyone will assume it’s because she was being emotionally neglected.
  • Women can watch one TV channel at a time without getting bored.
  • Women live longer than men.
  • A woman’s friend won’t try to persuade her to get a tattoo while she’s drunk.
  • Women can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
  • Women know who their children are without having a DNA test.
  • We don’t have to break wind to amuse ourselves.
  • If a woman inexplicably disappears for two weeks, one of her friends will notice.
  • If we forget to shave, no one knows.
  • A woman can take a drive without trying to beat her best time.
  • We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
  • We can talk to the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
  • We will never regret piercing our ears.
  • There are times when chocolate really does solve all our problems.
  • Women don’t think reading the manual is a betrayal of all their species stands for.
  • We can make comments about how silly men are in their presence, because they aren’t listening anyway.
  • No fashion faux pas we make could ever rival the Speedo.

I got these from

http://mistupid.com/people/page078.htm

http://www.ehmac.ca/everything-else-eh/30062-40-reasons-why-its-good-woman.html

10 Responses to “Joke 446”

  1. terry1954 June 12, 2012 at 04:52 #

    excellent!!!!

    Like

  2. slpmartin June 12, 2012 at 05:09 #

    Oh…after reading these I realize that….it must be my bedtime. 🙂

    Like

  3. vivinfrance June 12, 2012 at 06:17 #

    That’s more like it! The stronger sex.

    Like

  4. misswhiplash June 12, 2012 at 07:44 #

    Now begins ..The Battle of the sexes…Great stuff and immensely enjoyed reading such truthful words

    Like

  5. Viveka June 12, 2012 at 12:44 #

    So happy that I was born as woman … feel so much more strong, smart and beautiful after this post. *laughing Thanks.

    Like

  6. robincoyle June 12, 2012 at 22:04 #

    Hahahaha. “Aren’t listening anyway.” Love it. Are you married to my husband?

    Like

  7. Jeff June 12, 2012 at 23:09 #

    I’m not so sure about that tattoo one…

    Like

  8. grannymar June 13, 2012 at 20:27 #

    ‘We don’t look like a frog in a blender when dancing’…… It is a good job you never saw mew on a dance floor! 😆

    Like

I welcome your comments but be warned: I'm menopausal and as likely to snarl as smile. Wine or Maltesers are an acceptable bribe; or a compliment about my youthful looks and cheery disposition will do in a pinch.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: