Archive | 17:38

Free Kindle Download: The Houses On The Green

30 Jun

My friend Eileen Simkiss wrote a book about Fifties life in Ardwick, Manchester. 

For this weekend only it is available for free download to your Kindle.

Why not take advantage?

Her website: http://www.thehousesonthegreen.com/

Tilly’s Blog Jubilee: Day Three

30 Jun

 

Three Six Word Saturdays To Celebrate:

Today’s My Actual Blogaversary – Three Years!

Hope You’re Enjoying The Old Posts.

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I had great fun last year, tormenting the WordPress prompters who helped us to write a postaday2011.  Rather than show whole posts, I have selected some of my favourite responses.

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What non-exercise activity do you wish would keep you fit?

You all think I’m going to say ‘Eating Maltesers,’ don’t you? Guess again. And keep guessing until I hear something I like, then I’ll use that one.

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Describe the perfect crime.

Someone breaks into my house and cleans it.  If they steal the Hub’s crap, that’s a bonus.

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What’s the biggest lesson you learned so far this year?

WordPress prompters can’t grammar.

 

 

How do you decide who to be friends with?

What’s to decide? In TillyBudland, it’s friend until proven unfriend; I don’t see why I have to choose.  I have disliked very few people in my life, but even then I have been friendly to them. It’s just good manners.

Bonus: What defines the difference between a good friendship vs a close one?

The amount of gifts they bring me.

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If you started a music band, what would the name be?

WordPress & the Prompters.

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If you got a tattoo, what would it be?

News to me.

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Make a prediction about life in 2021.

I will be posting 105 times a day.  You have been warned.

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Describe your first job interview.

Boss: Your Mum says you’ll work hard; is she right?

Me: Yes.

Boss: Here’s your desk.

Who says nepotism’s a bad thing?

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What film have you seen more times than any other?

The Terminator. Sigh. The greatest romance ever.

What? We’ve had this argument before: he came across time for her. I rest my case. 

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Write a sequel to your favorite movie. 

Terminator 5: John Connor finally nails those buggers.

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What is your favorite way to procrastinate?

Let me think about that and get back to you.

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Do you like surprises?

Yes, and if anyone wants to throw me a surprise birthday party when I turn fifty, I promise to enjoy it.

[Not particularly funny; I threw it in as a hint]

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How do you know when it’s time to go?

I get a little damp patch around my lower-middle area.

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Why does corruption exist?

Because it works.

Can it be stopped?

Bung me a fiver and I’ll see what I can do.

What can bloggers do to help?

Lend you a fiver?

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Write about the one that got away.

I lost a Malteser in March 1997. I know this because I found it under my bed in 2006, alongside a copy of a letter typed in the same month. You’ve gotta love carbon dating.

 

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And finally, my all-time favourite response to one of the prompts:

WordPress Asked: Does Grammar Matter?

Does grammar matter?

Faints.

 

Joke 464

30 Jun

 

Some of My Best Jokes Are Friends

Some of My Best Jokes Are Friends (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

From my friend Michelle.

It is possible I have given you one of these before, so I have hidden it inside three others.

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A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says, “A beer please, and one for the road.”

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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.

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Two fish swim into a concrete wall.  One turns to the other and says, “Damn!”

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A man was killed last week while eating a bowl of muesli.  He was pulled in by a strong currant.

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