Thanks to Pseu for these. If you like good photography, good poetry and interesting tales about life, check her out.
These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:
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The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
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The sermon this morning: ‘Jesus Walks on the Water.’ The sermon tonight: ‘Searching for Jesus.’
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Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
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Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say ‘Hell’ to someone who doesn’t care much about you.
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Don’t let worry kill you off – let the Church help.
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Miss Charlene Mason sang ‘I will not pass this way again,’ giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
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For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
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Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be ‘What Is Hell?’ Come early and listen to our choir practice.
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Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
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Scouts are saving aluminium cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
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The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
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Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM – prayer and medication to follow.
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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
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Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM . All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.
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The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM . Please use the back door.
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The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
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Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church Please use large double door at the side entrance.
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The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new campaign slogan last Sunday: ‘I Upped My Pledge – Up Yours.
These are fantastic!
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those were good ones!
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I’m laughing so hard, I’m crying!!! I can’t even decide which one is the best. The Weight Watchers is pretty horrible. I have to share this on Facebook.
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Go for it!
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Thank you Tilly for information about Green Houses…I am looking forward to reading it
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I hope you enjoy it.
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Have seen these before, but they never fail to elicit a few giggles, Tilly. Have a great Sunday. xx
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There’s an award on my latest post for you, Tilly. 😉
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Thank you AD 🙂
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My husband and daughter made it here first, I had to run over for a peek because they were howling with laughter. Now I know why!!
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They read me too? Consider me delighted 🙂
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IT is so easy to make these mistakes when you are thinking of something else as you type 😉
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Howling again this morning, Tilly – thanks!
That choir sounds like it really needs help!
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Thank Pseu 🙂
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If you were a dyslexic insomniac who was on the verge of becoming an atheist, would you like awake at night wondering if there is a dog?
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PS thank you for the thumb up to my pages 🙂
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Thank YOU for a great joke this morning.
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🙂 🙂 🙂
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They are welcome to use my electric girdle.
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I’d pay to see that 🙂
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I am “borrowing” these to teach writing errors. The kids will get a good laugh. Thank!
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Excellent! I’m all for improving writing!
Do you have a link so I can return your visit?
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