Archive | 10:51

#RejectedOlympicEvents

31 Jul

 

A London Underground train decorated to promot...

A London Underground train decorated to promote London’s Olympic bid. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The hashtag #RejectedOlympicEvents is trending on Twitter.  I thought I’d share a few with you.

  • Cheap car park search in London
  • Tea brewing. This is London 2012, how it isn’t an event I will never know
  • Speed Dating
  • Dressage.  I don’t understand it
  • Hide and Seek
  • Running to and from a Chick Fil-A without being seen by your friends
  • Synchronised Knitting
  • Synchronised DM conversations; absolutely impossible to achieve
  • Twitter, 100 tweet freestyle, 400 meter tweeter
  • Opening the microwave in the shortest amount of time left before the bell goes off
  • The Hunger Games
  • Compulsive Picture Straightening
  • Doing something fast before the microwave time finishes
  • Quidditch. Stupid muggles
  • The Emergency Channel Change When You Discover Two And A Half Men Is On
  • Trying to put your key in the front door when drunk
  • Women’s Parallel Parking
  • Men’s 50 minute putting a 3-4 month old baby down for the night
  • Stiff Upper Lip-a-thon
  • Seeing which network can go the longest without mentioning Tebow, LeBron or Howard
  • Furtive Under-table Texting
  • Amount of grocery bags you can bring inside the house from the car in one go
  • Worseminton
  • The elevator close door button mash
  • The Macarena
  • Fitted Sheet Folding
  • 2am Drunk Texting Your Ex
  • 100m sprint for the bus.
  • Pin the Smile on Kristen Stewart
  • 5m sprint to charge laptop
  • Thinking up witty and euphemistic rejected Olympic events when everyone else has already thought up the best ones
  • Empty Seat Filling Race.  No Wait! It’s back in!
  • Twitter trend jokes

It’s still trending so go have a look for yourself and report back with the best ones.

 

Joke 495

31 Jul

 

An old one from Will & Guy.

Pentecostal Preacher

Pentecostal Preacher (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

After the church service, seven-year old Brian said to the preacher, “When I grow up, I’m going to give you some money.”  

“Well, thank you,” the preacher replied, “but why?”

“Because my daddy says that you’re one of the poorest preachers we’ve ever had.”

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