Joke 497

2 Aug
English: "The Dedusting Pump", later...

English: “The Dedusting Pump”, later known as vacuum cleaner. Deutsch: “Die Entstaubungspumpe”, später bekannt als Staubsauger. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Thanks to Granny1947 for this one.

Some of Life’s Imponderables

  • Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?
  • Why do banks charge a fee due to insufficient funds when they already know you’re broke?
  • Why is it that when someone tells you that there are one billion stars in the universe, you believe them; but if they tell you there is wet paint, you have to touch it to check?
  • Why do they use sterilized needles for lethal injections?
  • Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?
  • Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
  • Why did Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
  • Why is it that, no matter what colour bubble bath you use, the bubbles are always white?
  • Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialised?
  • Why do people run over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
  • Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the first end you try?
  • How do those dead bugs get into enclosed light fixtures?
  • Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that’s falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
  • Why, in winter, do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
  • How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

A day without a smile is like a day without sunshine!

And a day without sunshine is, like, night.

26 Responses to “Joke 497”

  1. katharinetrauger August 2, 2012 at 05:00 #

    😀
    That last line was, like. FUNNY! 🙂

    Like

  2. jmgoyder August 2, 2012 at 05:42 #

    Wonderful and hilarious (I haven’t said that for awhile!)
    So good to know the history of the vaccuum cleaner – I am definitely one who picks up the piece of string etc. argh! You are such a gem of mirth, Tilly!

    Like

  3. misswhiplash August 2, 2012 at 07:38 #

    If anyone has just one answer to any of Tilly’s post questions..I ‘d like to hear it! Good post Tilly.

    Have you read 50 shades of grey? Loved the book about houses on the street

    Like

  4. idiosyncratic eye August 2, 2012 at 13:14 #

    Life is a mystery and we’re all on the coach tour. 🙂

    Like

  5. viveka August 2, 2012 at 15:44 #

    Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialised? – ,my favorite. How often haven’t I done that. Brilliant post, Tilly … a good one.

    Like

  6. vivinfrance August 2, 2012 at 16:15 #

    These are some of your best imponderables. They reverberate truth.

    Like

  7. robincoyle August 2, 2012 at 17:41 #

    Here is another one . . . why do we turn down the car radio when looking for an address?

    Like

  8. SchmidleysScribbling August 2, 2012 at 20:19 #

    Things to ponder. Why does Superman duck anyway? I always saw that but until now it was not a concern. Dianne

    Like

  9. slpmartin August 2, 2012 at 21:42 #

    Oh these are just perfect for the day I’ve been having. 🙂

    Like

  10. Yulia August 3, 2012 at 02:57 #

    Good one Tilly! A day without smile will make you getting older 😀

    Like

  11. Three Well Beings August 3, 2012 at 05:49 #

    And we always push the button at street crossings or elevators as though repetitive motion will make the action faster! We are strange creatures. This was a wonderful list of imponderables! 🙂 Debra

    Like

  12. grannymar August 3, 2012 at 13:30 #

    In my book, a day with out sunshine is a day wasted. Not all sunshine comes from the sky, it can be found in the smiling eyes of a true friend! Here’s smiling at you!

    Like

  13. bluebee August 3, 2012 at 14:42 #

    A day without sunshine usually falls on a weekend in Australia

    Like

  14. bluebee August 3, 2012 at 14:45 #

    PS – I think “dedusting pump” is a marvellous name.

    Like

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I welcome your comments but be warned: I'm menopausal and as likely to snarl as smile. Wine or Maltesers are an acceptable bribe; or a compliment about my youthful looks and cheery disposition will do in a pinch.

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