Cars

Friday was home time.  We packed the car(s – thank you, Dennis) in the rain, of course; and we were home by noon – the beauty of holidaying no more than an hour’s drive away.

The Hub went straight to bed for twenty-four hours, utterly exhausted.  I watched TV for eight hours, too tired to follow the Hub upstairs.  It’s hard work enjoying yourself.

We did enjoy ourselves; the car did not.  I don’t think she wanted to go on holiday.  She’s about twelve years old and feeling it.  Two weeks before we went away she demanded new tyres.  A week before we went away, her exhaust dropped off and had to be replaced.  She insisted we join the RAC, just in case.  

Pity the RAC don’t cover parking fines (under dispute): the Hub has a disabled badge which allows him to park on yellow lines.  Rhyl Parking Enforcement ‘The Undead’ Officers chose to ignore his badge, and fined him for parking illegally. The Hub fired off a protest letter and we are awaiting the decision.

We decided that the holiday wasn’t over until we walked through the front door, so we could justify buying a chippy for lunch.  The Hub drove down the side street near our favourite chip shop and was executing his usual perfect three-point turn (the man can really drive; it’s very sexy when a man can really drive), when someone reversed into him from a standing stop (not so sexy).

The other car was up on a high driveway; he backed into our front, which was long ways across a narrow street, halfway through the turn.  There was no damage to our old girl but his new car was scratched.  The bloke got out of his car, leaned into ours and the following conversation ensued (I swear this is absolutely true):

Bloke: What you playing at?

Hub: What are you playing at?

B: I was in reverse for ten minutes before I pulled out.

H: You’re talking sh**e.

B: No, you’re talking sh**e.

H: No, you’re talking sh**e.

B: No, you’re talking sh**e.

H: No, you’re talking sh**e.

B: No, you’re talking sh**e.

H: No, you’re talking sh**e.

It was eventually decided to take the matter outside of our car.  The Hub finished his three-point turn and pulled over.  He went to discuss the matter.  He was barely there before he was back.  The other driver had spoken to his passenger while the Hub was parking and must have come to the conclusion that the person talking sh**e was, in fact, he, the reverser; and not we, the reversed into, because it was decided to leave it at that – no insurance claims and he would fix his own car at his own expense.

The chippy was good but the car insisted, no more holidays.  We can’t afford the extras.

Joke 518

 

Thanks to Grannymarfor this one.

Platnik Fishing Cartoon Playing Cards (Photo credit: andertoons)

Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures.  Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.

One day they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, “Now don’t get mad at me… I know we’ve been friends for a long time, but I just can’t think of your name!  I’ve thought and thought, but I can’t remember it.  Please tell me what your name is.”

Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her.

Finally she said, “How soon do you need to know?”