Joke 526

 

From Will & Guy.

Advice For Women

Torso di Barbie (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

• Aspire to be Barbie.  That girl has everything.
• If the shoe fits, buy them in every colour.
• Take life with a pinch of salt.  A wedge of lime, and a shot of tequila.
• Go on the 30 day diet.  I’m on it and so far I’ve lost 15 days.
• When life gets you down, put on your big girl panties and deal with it.
• Let your greatest fear be that there is no PMS and this is just your personality.
• Don’t get your knickers in a knot.  It solves nothing and makes you walk funny.
• When life gives you lemons, turn it into lemonade then mix it with vodka.
• Remember: wherever there is a good-looking, sweet, single man – there is probably some woman tired of his behaviour.
• Keep your chin up: only the first 40 years of parenthood are the hardest.
• If it has tyres or testicles, it’s going to give you trouble.
• By the time a women realizes her mother was right, she has a daughter who thinks she’s wrong.