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Weekly Photo Challenge: Near And Far

10 Sep

I was out all day today, at an administration networking event (I know how to live an exciting life) run by the Church of England (a really exciting life).  It wasn’t far from here; quite near, really.  This is the first chance I’ve had to blog. I’ve missed you.

 

I have had a busy three days: admin event today; church>writing group>visiting rellies in Macclesfield yesterday; packing the new shed and building a free, secondhand wardrobe on Saturday.

I’ve really missed you.

Spud had a proper sort out of his clothes and came across stuff he hasn’t worn for at least three years.

He’s a good son; I love him.  When I was pregnant, I hoped for an intelligent, witty, handsome, suave son.

So near; and yet so far.

In his psychology class today, he had to describe his mother in one word.  He opted for caring.

I wonder if he’s read this post yet?

 

Joke 536

10 Sep

 

Miss Haxby is holding a newborn baby that is i...

Miss Haxby is holding a newborn baby that is in an incubator at the Toronto Western Hospital in Toronto, Ont (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

From jokesabout.

Pregnancy Questions Part II

Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labour?
A: Not unless the word “alimony” means anything to you.

Q: What does it mean when the baby’s head is crowning?
A: It means you feel as thought not only a crown but the entire throne is trying to make its way out of you.

Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.

Q: Does labour cause hemorrhoids?
A: Labour causes anything you want to blame it for.

Q: Under what circumstances should a baby not be circumcised?
A: When it’s a girl, for starters.

Q: Where is the best place to store breast milk?
A: In your breasts.

Q: Is there a safe alternative to breast pumps?
A: Yes, baby lips.

Q: What does it mean when a baby is born with teeth?
A: It means that the baby’s mother may want to rethink her plans to nurse.

Q: How does one sanitize nipples?
A: Bathe daily and wear a clean bra. It beats boiling them in a saucepan.

Q: What are the terrible twos?
A: Your breasts after baby stops nursing cold turkey.

Q: What is the best time to wean the baby from nursing?
A: When you see teeth marks.

Q: Can a mother get pregnant while nursing?
A: Yes, but it’s much easier if she removes the baby from her breast and puts him to sleep first.

Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby’s nappy very quickly.

Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?

A: When the kids are in college.

 

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