On Poo

13 Sep
Cow Pat

Cow Pat (Photo credit: b3ardman)

I wouldn’t say the tone is particularly high around here, but I’m going to lower it to about as low as I can go without swearing, nudity or hairy armpits.

You know I am currently editing my South Africa poetry collection and I intend to publish it as an ebook.  The editing is going well and I will soon have to start thinking about the technical aspect of the operation.

No, that’s not where the poo comes in, but I am sweating at the thought of it.

Actually, that is where the poo comes in: as I am a complete novice at epublishing and will have to learn from the bottom up, I thought it might be a good idea to have a trial run with a small collection of poems that I wrote for fun and don’t mind giving away for free because I can’t imagine anyone in their right mind would pay for them.

I may have mentioned that I have written a collection of poems about poo (you see, dear readers: a literature degree is never wasted); the collection is small and manageable, unlike the South Africa poems, and I think people might enjoy the lighter side of excrement.

I have the following titles in mind:

  • On Poo
  • Feces Theses
  • NO.2 Cycle
  • The Lighter Side of Excrement (that one came to me when I typed the previous paragraph)
  • Turd Words
  • On Poo Corner
  • Crap Poems
  • The Allure of Ordure
  • Poop Poems
  • Manure Musings

I would like – with some trepidation, I must confess – to invite you to suggest further titles: vulgarity is acceptable; levity is encouraged; rudeness is not.

Please leave your suggestions in the comment box.  Once I have a few, I will put a poll in the field (watch where you step…).

An interesting aside:

While researching the correct spelling of faeces (the English, naturally; but I went with the American for the visual rhyme), I came across a fascinating site which tells you how things should look; and why they look like they look if they don’t look good: http://www.faeces.org.uk/

Wrinkle your nose all you want – like death and gaining weight, we all think about it.

Or is that just me?

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72 Responses to “On Poo”

  1. idiosyncratic eye September 13, 2012 at 10:40 #

    Check out the blog Catherine, Caffeinated for self publishing hints and tips. Well done on getting this far! 🙂

    Like

  2. W. R. Woolf September 13, 2012 at 10:52 #

    The “Feces Theses” sounds good to me 🙂

    Like

  3. McGuffyAnn September 13, 2012 at 11:33 #

    I must say “On Poo Corner” made me *LOL*…oh, crap…you always make me laugh! 😉

    Like

  4. jmgoyder September 13, 2012 at 11:58 #

    Ducky doo

    Like

  5. Helen Cherry September 13, 2012 at 12:02 #

    Hilarious.. How about

    Odes to Poo

    Like

  6. Adam Schiller September 13, 2012 at 12:08 #

    Poetry in Motion. Or perhaps simply Pooetry?

    Like

  7. Adam Schiller September 13, 2012 at 12:09 #

    Actually, what about The Poetry of Motions? Hope you won’t get sued by Andrew Motion…

    Like

  8. vivinfrance September 13, 2012 at 12:14 #

    Scatological Serenade

    Like

  9. sharechair September 13, 2012 at 12:25 #

    Feces Theses and Turd Words are my favorites. 🙂

    Like

  10. winnwords September 13, 2012 at 12:46 #

    I quite enjoyed your suggestions so far, and although the “Lighter Side of..” thing gets used a fair bit, that one was probably my fave. “Excremental Musings” might be good too. Or another possibility you might consider is something along the lines of, “What Does Fecal Matter?” Just a thought…

    Like

  11. gertygiggles September 13, 2012 at 12:48 #

    How’s about Dung Poeming!

    Like

  12. SchmidleysScribbling September 13, 2012 at 13:33 #

    I’ve written about pique today. Perhaps that will give you a prompt. Also, I like crap poems and manure musings best. Hey what’s wrong with writing in Sh** Style?

    Manure is great. i think you should make it a book of garden poetry as in cow du*g is groovy if you want to grow roses.

    Like

  13. mairedubhtx September 13, 2012 at 13:39 #

    You’ve chosen an interesting “dry run.”

    Like

  14. sanstorm September 13, 2012 at 13:51 #

    Poetry in Motion
    Poems to Move You
    From Pan to Pen

    Like

  15. Karen Snyder September 13, 2012 at 14:46 #

    Excremental Whimsy.

    I must say, however, that I like your first choice, “On Poo.”

    Like

  16. sanstorm September 13, 2012 at 14:46 #

    Ode or Odour
    How do you do?
    Stool Samples

    Like

  17. Tinman September 13, 2012 at 15:31 #

    Dear Diary-a
    Potty Poems
    Potty Mouth
    Ode to a Commode
    Dog-doo Doggerel
    Loo Haikoos
    e

    Like

  18. keiththegreen September 13, 2012 at 16:03 #

    With apologies to all the Trekies, To go Where No Man has Gone Before
    If you feel musical, The Poo Run Run
    For the classic lovers, Et Tu Poo

    Like

  19. gigihawaii September 13, 2012 at 16:09 #

    You should write one about toilet training your sons.

    Like

  20. Tom (Aquatom1968) September 13, 2012 at 21:36 #

    “Oo Poopy Doop: Poo In Words”
    Sorry, Tilly, I’m not very good with titles…

    Like

  21. Barbara September 14, 2012 at 00:06 #

    This was where I started…. And somehow got distracted. I just wanted to say that Terry Pratchett’s most recent discworld book ‘Snuff’ has quite a few poo references in it, so many in fact that he wrote ‘The World of Poo’ shortly afterwards.

    Like

  22. yourothermotherhere September 14, 2012 at 12:35 #

    I think “Crap Poems” is perfect.

    Like

  23. eof737 September 14, 2012 at 14:35 #

    Feces Theses and Poo Corner work for me… the rest are not bad at all. 😉

    Like

  24. Pseu September 14, 2012 at 19:03 #

    What you need is The Bristol Stool Chart.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bristol_stool_scale

    Like

    • Pseu September 14, 2012 at 19:22 #

      what about ‘Arty Farty’?

      Like

      • Pseu September 14, 2012 at 20:13 #

        Do you have one on toilet training?

        ‘Lotty’s Potty’

        or using the pot at night?

        ‘Gazunda Thunder’

        Like

  25. grannymar September 14, 2012 at 19:37 #

    Poop Poems would get my attention.

    Like

  26. Tilly Bud - The Laughing Housewife September 15, 2012 at 11:29 #

    Thank you, everyone, for the great suggestions. I had a great time reading them all.

    Vote here: https://thelaughinghousewife.wordpress.com/2012/09/15/poo-picks/

    Like

  27. Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher September 27, 2012 at 16:55 #

    Oh Feces, I’m late to reading this post… but here are my picks-on-the-poop…
    Fecal Matters
    Dump it Right HERE
    An Ode to Odure

    Like

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Poo Picks « The Laughing Housewife - September 15, 2012

    […] and this judge’s decision is absolutely final. Unless you want to take a look at the original post, see what I’ve left out, and make a formal request to have your favourite […]

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  2. Out Of The Office****** « The Laughing Housewife - October 22, 2012

    […] AAR… was being critiqued, I had intended to work on my poo collection* but that will have to wait a bit […]

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  3. Search Engine Poetry: The Laughing Housewife « beeblu blog - October 23, 2012

    […] about to release what promises to be a very interesting book of poetry memoir, and has another (on poo) in the pipeline […]

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I welcome your comments but be warned: I'm menopausal and as likely to snarl as smile. Wine or Maltesers are an acceptable bribe; or a compliment about my youthful looks and cheery disposition will do in a pinch.

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