Joke 542

16 Sep
Rob Gonda - The Digital Advertising Landscape ...

Rob Gonda – The Digital Advertising Landscape 2015 – Keynote – (Photo credit: Fräulein Schiller)

From Will & Guy.  Not really a joke, but amusing.

 Funnies From The Small Ads Column

  • A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms.
  • Dinner Special — Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.
  • Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover.
  • Now is your chance to have your ears pierced. Get an extra pair to take home.
  • Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory.
  • Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at night.
  • We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.
  • Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.
  • For Sale. Three canaries of undermined sex.
  • Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family.
  • For Sale — Eight puppies from a German Shepherd and an Alaskan Hussy.
  • Great Dames for sale.
  • Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.
  • For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.
  • Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.
  • Mt. Kilimanjaro, the breathtaking backdrop for the Serena Lodge. Swim in the lovely pool while you drink it all in.
  • Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that lots of women wear nothing else.

Quotes from bizcommunity.com

  • I have always believed that writing advertisements is the second most profitable form of writing. The first, of course, is ransom notes ~ Philip Dusenberry, quoted in Eric Clark, The Want Makers: Inside the World of Advertising, 1988.
  • I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.
  • Advertising sure brings quick results — last week I advertised for a night watchman — the same night my safe was robbed.
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24 Responses to “Joke 542”

  1. terry1954 September 16, 2012 at 04:06 #

    do u have to do a lot of scanning pages to find all of these goodies????

    Like

  2. sonofwalt September 16, 2012 at 05:01 #

    Some of these are truly a hoot. “Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.” And I loved the Alaskan Hussy! I literally choked, almost couldn’t breath with “Swim in the lovely pool while you drink it all in.”

    Like

  3. adinparadise September 16, 2012 at 05:36 #

    Absolutely hilarious! What a good laugh to wake up to on a wet Sunday morning. Thanks. 😆

    Like

    • Tilly Bud - The Laughing Housewife September 16, 2012 at 08:31 #

      My pleasure. I used to love those days when I lived in SA; though they made me homesick for England. Now the never-ending grey days make me homesick for South Africa. There’s no pleasing some people.

      Like

  4. benzeknees September 16, 2012 at 06:04 #

    This is my kind of humor!

    Like

  5. vivinfrance September 16, 2012 at 07:47 #

    Every one a gem – the idea of an antique lover is appealing!

    Like

  6. musings September 16, 2012 at 08:58 #

    Thank you for the chuckles!

    Like

  7. Pseu September 16, 2012 at 10:35 #

    I always wanted a second pair of ears. Instead I have to out up with a left ear, a right ear and a wild frontier.

    Like

  8. Tom (Aquatom1968) September 16, 2012 at 11:54 #

    Laughing out loud this morning, Tilly! They seemed to get funnier further own the list!

    Like

  9. mairedubhtx September 16, 2012 at 13:16 #

    These were really good.

    Like

  10. sharechair September 16, 2012 at 13:57 #

    Where can I pick up that extra pair of ears?

    Like

  11. Carol September 16, 2012 at 14:37 #

    Between bouts of laughter, I’m thinking it’s all in the way you say it!

    Like

  12. grannymar September 16, 2012 at 17:43 #

    ‘Sheer stockings’ I remember them with seams all the way up the back. They are out of bounds to me at the moment with my multicoloured legs. 😦

    Like

  13. viveka September 16, 2012 at 18:40 #

    For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers. – wonder who is trying to sell me ??????!!! Great post again.

    Like

  14. slpmartin September 16, 2012 at 21:18 #

    I did enjoy these…thanks!

    Like

  15. idiosyncratic eye September 16, 2012 at 21:46 #

    Ah, when language goes wrong. 🙂

    Like

  16. Perfecting Motherhood September 18, 2012 at 21:44 #

    These ads are hilarious! It really shows you there’s a need for good writers out there.

    Like

I welcome your comments but be warned: I'm menopausal and as likely to snarl as smile. Wine or Maltesers are an acceptable bribe; or a compliment about my youthful looks and cheery disposition will do in a pinch.

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