Joke 546

20 Sep

The jokes & quotes are from squarewheels.com.

  • “There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast.” Anonymous
  • “Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.” Anonymous
  • “Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.” Jeff Valdez
  • “In a cat’s eye, all things belong to cats.” English proverb
  • “As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat.” Ellen Perry Berkeley
  • “One cat just leads to another.”  Ernest Hemingway
  • “Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you.” Mary Bly
  • “Cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many ailments, but I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia.” Joseph Wood Krutch
  • “There are many intelligent species in the universe. They are all owned by cats.” Anonymous
  • “Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel. True, and they have many other fine qualities as well.” Missy Dizick
  • “Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want.” Joseph Wood Krutch
  • “Cats aren’t clean, they’re just covered with cat spit.” John S. Nichols
  • “Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will p**s on your computer.” Bruce Graham

 

 

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15 Responses to “Joke 546”

  1. robincoyle September 20, 2012 at 04:07 #

    Exactly why I don’t own a cat.

    Like

  2. benzeknees September 20, 2012 at 04:58 #

    I love the line about cats being covered in cat spit! LOL 🙂

    Like

  3. Kay's Musings September 20, 2012 at 09:00 #

    We’re not cat owners but there are a million feral cats around here.

    Like

  4. vivinfrance September 20, 2012 at 09:13 #

    Some of the many reasons why I love cats

    Like

  5. viveka September 20, 2012 at 09:41 #

    “Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you.” Mary Bly – my favorite today …. brilliant – so true – both a cat and dog lover .. had both. Had two cats – by name Whisky & Zoda – they both where just this qoute. Love it.

    Like

  6. grannymar September 20, 2012 at 09:53 #

    I’m not a cat person, but am sending this on to someone who is owned by a cat.

    Like

  7. adinparadise September 20, 2012 at 10:15 #

    Hehehe. Love the cat spit one. 🙂

    Like

  8. sharechair September 20, 2012 at 14:37 #

    “There are many intelligent species in the universe. They are all owned by cats.”
    my fav!

    Like

  9. judithatwood September 20, 2012 at 15:52 #

    Haahaahaahaahaahaahaahaa! Great!

    Like

  10. Tinman September 20, 2012 at 21:21 #

    I once read that “dogs have owners; cats have staff.” Says it all, really.

    Like

  11. Toryboy September 22, 2012 at 02:55 #

    The second joke is from a Terry Pratchett novel (not sure which one, but it’s definitely part of the Discworld series). I shall find out for you!
    In other news I’ll call home tomorrow afternoon.

    Like

  12. Jeff September 24, 2012 at 20:35 #

    These are all true. All four of my cats said so.

    Like

I welcome your comments but be warned: I'm menopausal and as likely to snarl as smile. Wine or Maltesers are an acceptable bribe; or a compliment about my youthful looks and cheery disposition will do in a pinch.

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