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23 Sep

 

It’s that Tinman again, doing for Shakespeare and Harry Potter what no man has done before.

 

Worth Doing Badly

This week’s Daily Post Writing Challenge is “Stylish Imitation”, so here is the world’s most famous playwright telling the world’s most famous story…
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Alarums, fanfares and trumpets. Enter Harry, Hermione and Ron.

Harry: When shall we three meet again?

Hermione: Next term at Hogwarts.

Harry: Oh, true. (they exit home for the holidays)

Enter He Who Must Not Be Named.

Voldemort (oops, sorry): Fast fare thy failure, Potter, with thy stupid scar
I’ll kill thee fore you can say, er “Nascar”.

Ghost of Nearly Headless Nick enters.

Voldemort: Sodeth off, thou twerp. (Nick exits, pursued by his career).

First Day of New Term. Enter Harry, Hermione and Ron.

Hermione: Grave news. (Holds up skull). Dobby is not to be.

Harry: Alas, poor Dobby. I knew him well.

Hermione: Not well.

Harry: I can see that.

Hermione: No, the word “well”…

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Joke 549

23 Sep

 

From ahajokes.

English: The main cellblock taken by ghostiegu...

English: The main cellblock taken by ghostieguide dec 22 2005 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Some years ago, Mike was sentenced to prison. During his stay, he got along well with the guards and all his fellow inmates. The warden saw that deep down, Mike was a good person and made arrangements for Mike to learn a trade while doing his time. After three years, Mike was recognized as one of the best carpenters in the local area. Often he would be given a weekend pass to do odd jobs for the citizens of the community, and he always reported back to prison before Sunday night was over.

The warden was remodelling his kitchen and had done much of the work himself. But he lacked the skills to build the large countertop which he had promised to his wife. He called Mike into his office and asked him to complete the job for him.

But, alas, Mike refused. He told the warden, “Gosh, I’d really like to help you, but counter fitting is what got me into prison in the first place.”

 

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