Archive |

I’m Not Cut Out For Bad Moods

24 Sep
Migraine Barbie has Snapped!

Migraine Barbie has Snapped! (Photo credit: Deborah Leigh (Migraine Chick))

Sorry for the late joke this morning. I have an excuse.

All of that frowning over the weekend led to a migraine.  I was in bed by one in the afternoon yesterday, waking only for the occasional Migraleve and a bowl of soup from my beloved husband.  Not from him, you understand: he’s not some sort of walking chicken soup dispenser, à la hen-cow hybrid (saying cluck-moo, or coo for short. Or muck*).  He poured it from a can and warmed it in the microwave; but I appreciated the love with which he did it.

*Give me a break; I have a sore head.

I couldn’t face the computer long enough to schedule a joke.  If I can’t face the computer, you know I’m sick.  I couldn’t even face Downton Abbey.  The thought of Maltesers made me queasy.  Now do you believe me?

I wanted to try Big Al’s cure – take the tablets, then a shower, with the water spraying the face – but I couldn’t lift my head long enough to find the bathroom. Sorry, Al.  Next time, maybe.

This morning, the head is still aching, but functional.  Normal service will hopefully be resumed tomorrow.

I promise I’ll be in a good mood.  The headache says I’d better be, or else.

***

Re: Viv’s non-appearance to herself in the community board to the right.  

I’ve got nothing.  But I see you every day.

***

I’ve just checked: you’re not there.  I’m going back to bed.

Joke 550

24 Sep

From drpsychotic.com.

LEGO Pirates #38

LEGO Pirates #38 (Photo credit: mac_filko)

A pirate and his parrot were adrift in a lifeboat following a dramatic escape from a valiant battle.  While rummaging through the boat’s provisions, the pirate stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a Genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of the castaways, a Genie came forth.  This particular Genie, however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three. 

Without giving any thought to the matter the pirate blurted out, “Make the entire ocean into rum!”   The Genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the entire sea turned into the finest rum ever sampled by mortals.  Simultaneously, the Genie vanished.

Only the gentle lapping of rum on the hull broke the stillness as the two castaways considered their circumstances. The parrot looked disgustedly at the pirate and after a tension-filled moment spoke: “Now ye’ve done it!!   We’re gonna have to pee in the boat.”

XXX

A bonus joke:

How much does it cost for a pirate to pierce his ears?

A buck an ear!   Arrrrrrrr!

XXX

And one especially for my American readers:

Did you hear about the new pirate movie?

It’s rated arrrrrrrr.

%d bloggers like this: