Joke 550

From drpsychotic.com.

LEGO Pirates #38 (Photo credit: mac_filko)

A pirate and his parrot were adrift in a lifeboat following a dramatic escape from a valiant battle.  While rummaging through the boat’s provisions, the pirate stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a Genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of the castaways, a Genie came forth.  This particular Genie, however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three. 

Without giving any thought to the matter the pirate blurted out, “Make the entire ocean into rum!”   The Genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the entire sea turned into the finest rum ever sampled by mortals.  Simultaneously, the Genie vanished.

Only the gentle lapping of rum on the hull broke the stillness as the two castaways considered their circumstances. The parrot looked disgustedly at the pirate and after a tension-filled moment spoke: “Now ye’ve done it!!   We’re gonna have to pee in the boat.”

XXX

A bonus joke:

How much does it cost for a pirate to pierce his ears?

A buck an ear!   Arrrrrrrr!

XXX

And one especially for my American readers:

Did you hear about the new pirate movie?

It’s rated arrrrrrrr.