Archive | 09:14

N Is For A Number Of Things

26 Sep

Another in my occasional series, The A To Z Of The Laughing Housewife.

N

N (Photo credit: chrisinplymouth)

N Is For A Number Of Things

Normal Service Has Been Resumed

Headache has more or less gone and I’m back to blogging as usual, except…there are

Not Enough Hours In The Day

To allow me to catch up with your comments and blogs and to comment on yours.  Also, I’m

Not Feeling Great At The Computer At The Moment

I find that lately I’m struggling to spend my usual time at the computer, because my eyes burn with tiredness.  Basically, I’m feeling

KNackered

I’m waking early; I’m nodding off around ten at night and sleeping well, but feel like I’ve had none when I wake up.  I’m also

Napping

A lot in the afternoons.

Nice Choice Of Language From An English Graduate

Sorry about the earlier vulgarity – Knackered.  For those who don’t know the meaning, it has several, one of which doesn’t apply in a family friendly blog, so I won’t include it:

  • Exhausted
  • Reprimanded
  • Broken

The first and third go back to the Knacker’s Yard – a place to send  worn-out horses for slaughtering.

If you didn’t understand Joke 548, re-read it with this explanation in mind.

So when I said

Normal Service Has Been Resumed

I was exaggerating a little because that is patently

Not True.

Your comments are still unanswered and your blogs unvisited.  You know, I’m

Not Keen On The Letter N.

It’s a big fat fibber.

L0066542 CO2 gas-powered artificial arms

L0066542 CO2 gas-powered artificial arms (Photo credit: wellcome images)

Now, I Just Want To Mention One Thing:

Do you read the comments other readers leave?  Even though I don’t always answer them, I always read them.  You should, too; they are often funnier than the posts.  

This morning, in response to today’s joke, Katherine Trauger told me the bizarre story of her friend:

We know a guy with an artificial arm…he lost his original arm while trying to escape from prison — he was shot…While he was in prison the second time, his original artificial arm was stolen from him. 

You couldn’t make it up.

News For Bloggers 

If you are going to be in London on 8-9 November, you might be interested to know that the British Arts Festival Association is offering free tickets to their conference for all bloggers.  Visit the website for details: http://www.artsfestivals.co.uk/bafa-events

Normal Service Will Be Resumed, I Promise.

Eventually.  I’d gnaw off my arm before I let you down.

Joke 552

26 Sep

Two from ajokeaday.com

A class photo of the 110th United States Senate.

A class photo of the 110th United States Senate. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Edward Hale, while chaplain of the U.S. Senate, was asked, “Do you pray for the senators?”

He replied, “No.  After getting to know the senators, I pray for the people.”

***

A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried a creative defense to get his client off the hook.  “My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few paltry items.  His arm is not himself, so I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed solely by his arm.”

“Well put,” the judge replied, smiling. “Using that same logic, I sentence the defendant’s arm to one year’s imprisonment. Your client can accompany the arm or not, as he chooses.”

The defendant said, “Thank you, your honour.”  With his lawyer’s help, he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench and walked out.

%d bloggers like this: