Joke 558

2 Oct

Thanks to Janie Jonesfor this one.

strings

strings (Photo credit: missy & the universe)

A string had a horrible day.  It was the worst day of his whole life, which was saying something.  As he was making his way home he decided to stop for a few drinks, hoping to forget about it all.  He found a little hole in the wall bar and hopping onto a bar stool called out for a shot of Tequila.   The bartender turned around and with a look of surprise said, “Hey, aren’t you a string?”

“Yeah,”  said the string.

“You better get outta here.  We don’t serve your kind.”  

“What?” said the string.

“You heard me.  We don’t serve your kind.  Now get.”

Confused, the string tried to reason with the bartender.  “Look,” he said, “I think we got off on the wrong foot.  I had a horrible day, and now I just want to drown myself in a bottle of Tequila.  My money is good.”  To prove his point the string slapped a fifty dollar bill on the bar.

Enraged, the bartender shoved the money back at the string and hollered, “I don’t care about your money or what kinda day you had.  We don’t serve strings here.  Get out of my bar or I’ll call the cops!”  At this point a few other customers rose up from their seats, glaring at the string and flexing their muscles.

“All right!  All right!  I’m leaving!”  the string said as he backed away toward the door.

Once out in the street the string sagged against the wall of the bar.  He was angry, confused and he wanted that drink more than ever.  Suddenly, an idea came to him.  He deftly folded his top half over and around his bottom half, until he looked like a pretzel.  Then he stretched his two ends away from each other until he had formed himself into a tight knot.  He tore at the loose ends of himself until the fibres of his string body were frayed and strode purposefully back into the bar.

“Good evening bartender.  Gimme a Tequila, and leave the bottle!”  He jumped onto the stool and slapped his money on the table.

The bartender looked him up and down and growled, “Hey, aren’t you that string I just sent packing?”

“Nope.  I’m a frayed knot.”

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23 Responses to “Joke 558”

  1. siggiofmaine October 2, 2012 at 04:03 #

    SIGH…but very very good !

    Like

  2. judithatwood October 2, 2012 at 04:07 #

    so bad it’s funny!

    Like

  3. terry1954 October 2, 2012 at 04:09 #

    haha, that was a clever one!!!

    Like

  4. fabulouslyawkwardgirl October 2, 2012 at 04:12 #

    Ha! Love it.

    Like

  5. SidevieW October 2, 2012 at 05:42 #

    You have a much longer version than mine, but it is still funny *giggle*

    Like

  6. vivinfrance October 2, 2012 at 07:03 #

    I love shaggy dog stories, and this is one of the best.

    Like

  7. idiosyncratic eye October 2, 2012 at 08:55 #

    I think some days that I am a frayed knot too. 😉

    Like

  8. adinparadise October 2, 2012 at 11:03 #

    Always enjoyed this one, Tilly. 🙂

    Like

  9. Barbara October 2, 2012 at 11:37 #

    Ouch

    Like

  10. Three Well Beings October 2, 2012 at 17:39 #

    Why do I like these corny ones so much? Hahahaha!

    Like

  11. viveka October 2, 2012 at 18:39 #

    I thought it was good until .. the world “frayed” – arrived … what I understand has it something to do with being nuts .. or wired .. or mental … so sorry, not much wiser … here.

    Like

  12. grannymar October 2, 2012 at 20:20 #

    Groan! I’m a frayed I heard it before you were born!!

    Like

  13. Janie Jones October 3, 2012 at 16:38 #

    How could knot like this one? I’m a frayed it’s my favorite joke ever!

    Like

I welcome your comments but be warned: I'm menopausal and as likely to snarl as smile. Wine or Maltesers are an acceptable bribe; or a compliment about my youthful looks and cheery disposition will do in a pinch.

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