Joke 565

 

Thanks to Schmidley’s Scribbling for letting me lift this from her blog.

Political Aphorisms from Cousin Ellen

• The problem with political jokes is they get elected. ~Henry Cate, VII
• We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office ~Aesop
• If we got one-tenth of what was promised to us in these State of the Union speeches, there wouldn’t be any inducement to go to heaven. ~Will Rogers
• Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river. ~Nikita Khrushchev
• When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I’m beginning to believe it. ~Clarence Darrow
• Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you. ~Author unknown
• Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel. ~John Quinton
• Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other. ~Oscar Ameringer
• I offer my opponents a bargain: if they will stop telling lies about us, I will stop telling the truth about them. ~Adlai Stevenson, campaign speech, 1952
• A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country. ~Tex Guinan
• I have come to the conclusion that politics is too serious a matter to be left to the politicians. ~Charles de Gaulle
• Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks. ~Doug Larson
• There ought to be one day — just one — when there is open season on senators. ~Will Rogers