Joke 565

9 Oct

 

Thanks to Schmidley’s Scribbling for letting me lift this from her blog.

politicians

Political Aphorisms from Cousin Ellen

  • The problem with political jokes is they get elected. ~Henry Cate, VII
  • We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office ~Aesop
  • If we got one-tenth of what was promised to us in these State of the Union speeches, there wouldn’t be any inducement to go to heaven. ~Will Rogers
  • Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river. ~Nikita Khrushchev
  • When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I’m beginning to believe it. ~Clarence Darrow
  • Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you. ~Author unknown
  • Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel. ~John Quinton
  • Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other. ~Oscar Ameringer
  • I offer my opponents a bargain: if they will stop telling lies about us, I will stop telling the truth about them. ~Adlai Stevenson, campaign speech, 1952
  • A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country. ~Tex Guinan
  • I have come to the conclusion that politics is too serious a matter to be left to the politicians. ~Charles de Gaulle
  • Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks. ~Doug Larson
  • There ought to be one day — just one — when there is open season on senators. ~Will Rogers

 

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14 Responses to “Joke 565”

  1. terry1954 October 9, 2012 at 04:10 #

    that first one really hit hard, they get elected, isn’t this the truth

    Like

  2. katharinetrauger October 9, 2012 at 04:43 #

    Too true to be funny. But made me laugh, anyway. 🙂

    Like

  3. mairedubhtx October 9, 2012 at 13:47 #

    These are particularly appropriate now during our heated political season. Thanks.

    Like

  4. slpmartin October 9, 2012 at 15:21 #

    I really like these a lot…especially given the current campaigns that are going on over here.

    Like

  5. Danie October 9, 2012 at 19:01 #

    Reblogged this on Letter2Self.

    Like

  6. Three Well Beings October 9, 2012 at 20:57 #

    Oh so true! Each one. Quite discouraging, but obviously by the dates of many of the quotes, the issues we all complain about are certainly not new! D

    Like

  7. benzeknees October 10, 2012 at 06:31 #

    Love politicians – only for the laughs!

    Like

  8. sanstorm October 10, 2012 at 11:00 #

    I liked the tunnel one – but these made me feel sick rather than amused. Too true, too true.
    :mrgreen:

    Like

  9. happyflowerwordzoo002 October 10, 2012 at 18:49 #

    Totally welcome the suggestion that I go into politics and someone will research all about me for free. LOL Great collection of quotables.

    Like

  10. Grannymar October 11, 2012 at 15:36 #

    History keeps repeating itself!

    Like

  11. Janie Jones October 12, 2012 at 12:09 #

    Tilly Bud, I hate to break it to you, but you seem to have lost the ability to tell a joke from the truth. 😉

    Like

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Tuesday Titters: Week 45; there’s really nothing to joke about today | Janie's Place - November 6, 2012

    […] outright re-blog this, but, if I have any readers who don’t read The Laughing Housewife, here’s some political quotes she passed on from a blog friend.  They are really much funnier in a dark, […]

    Like

I welcome your comments but be warned: I'm menopausal and as likely to snarl as smile. Wine or Maltesers are an acceptable bribe; or a compliment about my youthful looks and cheery disposition will do in a pinch.

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