Smile And You Smile Alone

21 Oct

This is a reblog of a post from October 2010.

mouth

mouth (Photo credit: Darwin Bell)

We haven’t talked about my manky teeth for a while.  I have the worst teeth in the world.  When Americans whisper behind their hands about British mouths, it’s me they’re thinking of. 

I had root canal treatment on my front tooth, twenty-odd years ago.  Being dead, it got greyer and greyer until I begged my dentist to help me.  He suggested veneers – in the plural, because one’s front gnashers should match. 

I told my friend Flo about it and she thought it was a great idea until she spoke to her own dentist.  Next time I saw her, I asked her if she was going to have her own teeth done but she fobbed me off.  She didn’t want to upset newly veneered me, or make me feel uncomfortable.  I knew she was fobbing me off by the way she blushed and ran to the other side of the playground every time teeth were mentioned.

I never did learn what horror story her dentist told her about veneers, but I can take a good guess.  First of all, installing them hurts.  My teeth were sanded down to nothing and every time I breathed (which I do a lot of; there’s no getting round it) it felt like a gale force wind was prodding my pearly yellows with a skewer.  Then the cement used to stick the veneers on was so adhesive, it dried before my dentist had time to remove the excess.  My mouth spent weeks looking as if it had been grouted to match my bathroom.

Worst of all, the cement only seems to work on the gaps between the teeth: my veneers have fallen off several times and always have to be glued back on. I was on my way out one night when it happened again.  ‘I don’t know why it does that,’ I said to the Hub as I finished my chewy lollipop.

Smile

Smile (Photo credit: Tim Zim)

I don’t go out with a broken mouth.  It’s one of my rules.  My dentist agreed to fix it next morning.  She keeps a spare appointment just for me: I am forever losing crowns, fillings, veneers and bits of old tooth that I don’t use anymore.

I hope my children read this as a cautionary tale: brush your teeth twice a day for three minutes.  If you don’t, I’m warning you: I’m going to smile.

 

Advertisements

15 Responses to “Smile And You Smile Alone”

  1. misswhiplash October 21, 2012 at 10:38 #

    It’s as true today as it was then..good post!

    Like

  2. vivinfrance October 21, 2012 at 11:01 #

    Blame it on the Maltesers! Next time you come, please do NOT get Jock going either about sweet eating or crummy dental veneers. He goes on for about 4 hours until either he or the entire audience or both have fallen asleep.

    Like

  3. lenwilliamscarver October 21, 2012 at 11:43 #

    Been there done that..ended up with mouth full of dentures…they look good but sure wish I had been told to brush twice a day 3 mins each. by the way I think your photo is wonderful and your teeth DO NOT look bad. God bless!

    Like

  4. Adam Schiller October 21, 2012 at 11:48 #

    And don’t forget to floss. Keep that gum disease at bay!

    Like

  5. Hilary October 21, 2012 at 13:05 #

    Poor you… I am sorry… Having dental issues is so hard

    Like

  6. mairedubhtx October 21, 2012 at 13:11 #

    I have to go to the dentist week after next for a cleaning and check. I HATE the dentist. I have spent tens of thousands of dollars on my rotten teeth over the past twenty years getting them to look decent and fixing things that have gone awry. I wonder if it has been worth it. i HATE it.

    Like

  7. terry1954 October 21, 2012 at 14:41 #

    loved the animal photo!!!!

    Like

  8. Judith Atwood October 21, 2012 at 15:08 #

    Hi, L/H! You just smile your head off! 😎

    Like

  9. laurieanichols October 21, 2012 at 15:13 #

    My hubby shares the teeth battles with you, he cannot go into a dentist office without coming out with a fantastical bill that sometimes makes me want to faint. Poor Tilly I know that it gets depressing, brushing and flossing are the only remedies for teeth and they must be done diligently.

    Like

  10. viveka October 21, 2012 at 16:28 #

    This with teeth and smiles and dentists – not a funny business for so many … people. I have been so lucky – maybe because I never smoked … everyone I know that have or had problems with their teeth has been smokers. Sure there is none smokers with problems too – but not that amount, so brush the teeth twice per day is not enough if you’re a smoker .. the teeth problems will come anyhow .. plus it cost an arm and a leg .. for only a check up. So tell them stay away from the fags too.

    Like

  11. gigihawaii October 21, 2012 at 17:31 #

    I know you were trying to put a humorous spin on this, but I think it’s sad that you have to suffer like this. Too bad!

    Like

  12. siggiofmaine October 21, 2012 at 17:43 #

    I understand “I don’t go out with a broken mouth:” WoW…you have had quite the experience with the veneers. My sincere sympathies are with you in regards to wanting
    the nice smile…and all the work…and expense that goes with it.
    Your smile in the photo looks nice and beautiful.

    Like

  13. siggiofmaine October 21, 2012 at 17:44 #

    PS, the smile I meant is of you as you !
    The other photo reminds me of some people I know.☺

    Like

  14. benzeknees October 21, 2012 at 19:22 #

    I’m lucky to have very strong teeth – my mother has teeth like chalk that break & fall out like crazy. Although 7 years without a dentist visit has played havoc with my teeth & now I have a few teeth that need some work & I desperately need a cleaning.

    Like

  15. Grannymar October 21, 2012 at 20:17 #

    Life would be so much easier if we didn’t have to eat!

    Like

I welcome your comments but be warned: I'm menopausal and as likely to snarl as smile. Wine or Maltesers are an acceptable bribe; or a compliment about my youthful looks and cheery disposition will do in a pinch.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: