How To Settle An Argument: Write A Novel

28 Oct

Or not.

The Hub and I have an ongoing argument: he thinks I’m a great writer (no argument there) but I’m wasted on poetry because there’s no money in it.  I should write a novel, he thinks.

My argument is, I don’t have a novel in me.  No ideas for a story, no desire to write one, and my reliance on colons and semicolons is such that, although I might do a Cormac McCarthy thing and start a trend, it really helps to sell books if you tell a good story first; then the punctuation, grammar, etc., won’t matter. Just ask Stephenie Meyer.

English: British actor Robert Pattinson at the...

English: British actor Robert Pattinson at the premiere of Water for Elephants in 2011. (Photo credit: Wikipedia) Gratuitous use of RP’s picture solely for the benefit of Tilly Bud

Write a book, he’s always saying.  Write a book.

Nah, is being my answer (not bad grammar – I’m paraphrasing Love Actually).

Write a book, like it’s that simple.

I’ll tell you what is not simple: listening to the Hub saying the same thing over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and…see how quickly that becomes dull?

We watched Water for Elephants – me for Robert Pattinson; the Hub for the elephant (he’s not keen on Reese Witherspoon).  After the film, I did what I always do after a movie: checked Wikipedia for background details.  I have the internet; the information is freely available: why shouldn’t I be a nerd if I want to?

Guess what?  The film is based on the book of the same name by Sara Gruen, who wrote the first draft as part of NaNoWriMo – National Novel Writing Month.

Here’s another fact, irrelevant to this one, but I always think of it whenever I think of NaNo elephants and it creeps me out so I have to share it: the book Fifty Shades of Grey started life as Twilight fan fiction.  

You can see why that might creep me out, can’t you?  From vampire virgins to young bondage victims (I hear).  Icky.

So…best-selling novels-nagging husbands-vampires-elephants… There could be only one outcome: I’ve signed up for NaNoWriMo.  At best, it will settle the argument once and for all: I do not have a novel in me.  At better, it will settle the argument once and for all: I have a novel in me.  I don’t mind the Hub winning that one if I get a book and film deal out of it.

Now, what shall I call it?  

Water for Vampires…Twilight of the Pattinsons…Fifty Shades of Elephant Grey…





52 Responses to “How To Settle An Argument: Write A Novel”

  1. Tom (Aquatom1968) October 28, 2012 at 10:22 #

    Go for it Tilly – and good luck!


  2. vivinfrance October 28, 2012 at 10:29 #

    Call it Tilly’s novel, for now. Titles come later!

    Good on you for signing up to Nano. I did too, but am chickening out, as I can do without the stress right now. Two months of a poem a day have diminished my yearning to be a poet.


  3. Pseu October 28, 2012 at 10:53 #

    So good I tried it twice.

    I have been playing with the idea of a short story a day, instead of a novel, as I didn’t get far with a novel.
    Do you follow Kitchensgarden?
    See her blog on planning for NaNoWriMo….


  4. Ron. October 28, 2012 at 11:53 #

    What is “a novel”?


  5. SammyDee October 28, 2012 at 13:14 #

    Rather you than me! Good luck with your challenge.


    • Tilly Bud - The Laughing Housewife October 28, 2012 at 15:58 #

      Rather you than me, actually! Think yourself lucky you’re not married to the Hub.

      Nothing to do with being forced to write to win an argument; just think yourself lucky you’re not married to him. 🙂


  6. jmgoyder October 28, 2012 at 13:22 #

    DO IT!


  7. laurieanichols October 28, 2012 at 13:40 #

    I think that you had a brilliant idea signing up for nanowrimo, at the very least, you put the argument to bed for a little while depending on the outcome. I was leaning to Fifty Shades of Elephant but then I thought, haven’t they suffered enough? Have fun with it, I know that you will.


  8. gigihawaii October 28, 2012 at 14:03 #

    Oh, good luck, Tilly!!! I know what you mean, because I don’t have a novel in me, either. I wrote 3 memoirs, and that’s it for me.


  9. judithatwood October 28, 2012 at 14:52 #

    Well, you’ve convinced me to look into this NaNoWriMo


  10. sanstorm October 28, 2012 at 15:45 #

    So pleased you are going for nano. Me too. If I dont do it this year, perhaps I never will.
    I read WfE, then saw the movie. The book was definitely “better” than the movie, apart from the book had some graphic and unnecessary scenes.
    Good luck generating a plot. I sympathise there. I now have a prologue. All set for november.
    Good luck!


  11. slpmartin October 28, 2012 at 15:47 #

    Can wait to see who buys the movie rights to your first novel. ..Good Luck with that!


  12. Al October 28, 2012 at 16:41 #

    Write a mystery novel and call it…..”The Hub did it”.


  13. Grannymar October 28, 2012 at 16:45 #

    Go for it, have fun and most of all enjoy.


  14. Amiable Amiable October 28, 2012 at 17:41 #

    I found your blog by way of benzeknees by way of The Idiot Speaketh, and I’m clicking “Follow” in a second. But first, I just have to say you’ve got a “novel idea” there (groan) – good luck! I’ve heard of NaNoWriMo, but am not sure what it’s all about and will get to that after I sign up for your blog. It sounds like a lot of work, though, so I commend you on signing up for that!


  15. Viveka October 28, 2012 at 22:16 #

    Write a book about a funny everyday woman, mum and wife that goes on holiday trip with some of her best friends … no more vampire books or movies. How was the movie – had for a while, but haven’t felt for watching it.


  16. Rorybore October 29, 2012 at 01:53 #

    I have someone in my life who keeps saying the same thing too: just sit down and write a book. Argh. I have no story…. as yet. Or rather, I have too many stories and no focus. But I love how people — who have no discernible talent other than being busy-bodies – just love to tell everyone else what they should be doing.
    So I signed up for a poem a day month challenge. Irony?

    Also, I humbly request a Gratuitous use of Gerald Butler in a future post. In a kilt if you are up to the challenge. 😉


  17. Hanna October 29, 2012 at 03:32 #

    Go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go… write a novel! ^o^


  18. benzeknees October 29, 2012 at 04:10 #

    I hope you write the heck out of NaNoWriMo! I hate nagging hubbies – I have one too! Just tonight it was have you found a job, have you filed for Employment Insurance benefits & so on & so on & so on . . .


  19. Katharine Trauger October 29, 2012 at 12:49 #

    Does he realize he’ll have to do all the cooking and cleaning for the next month?

    Call it “Fifty Shades of Hub”.


  20. bluebee October 30, 2012 at 00:38 #

    “Fifty Shades of Armpit Grey” – at least you know there’s an audience for that


  21. ruthrawls October 30, 2012 at 00:44 #

    I’m in.


  22. Sirrom October 31, 2012 at 13:20 #

    Ima newb. This will be my first year participating. I do it know I will most likely ‘fail’, but I have a new story idea and hope to use NaNoWriMo to jumpstart the draft.


  23. Janie Jones October 31, 2012 at 18:38 #

    Vampire elephant silhouettes on the shades at twilight.

    Elephant vampire abandons his bestial ways upon witnessing the brutal hunting murder of the family of the most beautiful (if misunderstood) female elephant ever across the savannah, turns vigilante, vows to protect the tusks of his beloved from poachers, she becomes a vampire elephant too during a steamy love scene in order to spend all eternity together and the movie version of the best seller ends showing the shadows of their entwined trunks forming a heart on a canvas tent wall.

    Book written.


  24. Lori November 2, 2012 at 22:27 #

    I’m doing NaNo again this year too. Hope it goes well for you!


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