Answer: When it is time for a flu jab.
“The One Ring” from J.R.R. Tolkien’s works (Photo credit: Wikipedia) If only medical reception phones worked like this
Sigh.
The NHS gives free flu jabs every year for those with certain conditions, including pregnancy and anything neurological. I freely admit the Hub is not pregnant, but he has M.E. which is most definitely a neurological condition.
Unless I try to book his jab, that is. Every year we go through the same much ado about something important:
Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring [The phone in the doctor’s surgery]
Receptionist: Hello, this is your medical centre speaking. How may I obstruct you?
Tilly Bud: Hello Beautiful Lady, Keeper of the Appointment Book. Please may I book a flu jab for my husband if it’s not too much trouble for your Kindly Beautifulness?
Reception [Barks]: Name?
Tilly Polite: The Hub.
Loooooooooong pause.
Recepti [Grunts]: Of number street name?
Tilly Politer: That’s right, O Clever Hoarder of the Surgery Pens.
Recep [Indignant]: He’s not eligible.
Tilly Desperate [Sigh – inaudible to avoid provoking the beast]: We have this discussion every year, dear Starched Muffin of the GPs. He has M.E., which is a neurological condition. If you don’t mind checking his record, Lovely Tracker of the Public Toilet Toilet Paper, you will see that he has had the jab every year.
Rec [Reluctant but Dutiful]: I’ll have to speak to the nurse and get back to you. Wait by the phone. Do not take toilet breaks. Do not pass/go. Let your bladder burst and soil your seat before leaving the designated hearing-of-the-ringing-telephone area. I will make one call only. No reply from you, and I will disappear from the face of the earth with any possible appointment that may or may not be offered or not offered to your alleged eligible spouse. Do you understand these conditions as I have explained them to you? DO YOU?
Tilly Terrified: Yes, O She Who Wields All The Power. Thank you for your great mercy to this humble supplicant.
R: Don’t mention it. No, seriously, don’t mention it. I don’t want the other patients knowing I have a softer side. [Hangs up]
Tilly waits.
Waits.
And waits.
Still waiting.
Yellow pool starts to rise.
Waits.
Related articles
- At risk groups urged to get free flu jab (watfordobserver.co.uk)
The Laughing Housewife 
There’s something about doctor surgery’s receptionists, isn’t there? At my old practice you virtually had to produce a death certificate to be allowed to book an appointment, at the new place they’re actually fairly decent. I’d rather take my chances with flu then be stabbed though! 😉
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The second-scariest receptionists after medical are school receptionists. Terrifying people.
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Yes actually, one of ours was absolutely eeeevil and would never let me leave school even if it was for an appointment! 😉
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We don’t have to have doctor to give it here: we go to the clinic in the village, any day we please, and the nurse jabs us wherever the fancy takes him/her (we have both here). How about emigrating to France?
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I’m tempted 🙂
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Either you called one of my doctors’ offices, or The Blessed Maiden-in-control of Everything and the Running Comments is your gal’s twin!
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I don’t think they are born. I think they are made in a factory somewhere and shipped worldwide.
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How true!
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I love the way you did this conversation, Tilly. So many of these doctor’s receptionists are definitely in the wrong job. If you weren’t ill when you first call them, you certainly feel sick by the time they’ve done verbally abusing you.
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They are the scariest people in the world.
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It’s the same at my surgery except this year they seem to have got the hang of it x
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That’s good to hear 🙂
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Oh Goodness me, and NHS is the envy of the world? I think not. Dianne
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It is; with good reason. But it’s not made of money. Hard choices have to be made sometimes.
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At least you have health care. We have to wait and then pay an arm and a leg for the privilege of getting poked in the arm with a sharp instrument. Of course, now we can also pay an arm and a leg and go to get a shot at the pharmacy who knows nothing about you and your previously existing conditions. You take your chances. What a system, if it can be called that.
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You can pay for health insurance here, as well.
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Go before you go to the phone. Or get a cordless and make calls in the (is it a loo over there? I think so.) loo.
Jis sayin
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I did go before. I have a weak bladder 🙂
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Better than than a weak sense of humor!!!!!!! 😉
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My husband gets one free at work every year. It’s not for his benefit, it’s so he doesn’t need two weeks off for the flu or infect other people and everyone needs two weeks off. A very good idea if you ask me. Everyone benefits.
I’m sorry about the Hub. Neither of you should be treated in this way. He has a condition and lives in a country where he should be properly looked after.
I hope she at least called you back eventually. Here they mostly don’t.
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She didn’t. I had to call back. We might as well have chatted 😦
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Argh – I know this well. You should publish this in a medical magazine – it’s brilliant!
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Ah…we can even go the pharmacy here to get the shot…makes it quite convenient.
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I’ve just learned that we can do that, as well.
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enjoyed this!!!!
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Medical receptionists are … sickening.
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😉
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Do you Brits really call it a “flu jab” not a “flu shot?” I love it. I shall now call in a “flu jab.”
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We do 🙂
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As I always said .. you have to be healthy to be sick !!!!! I hope The Hub … gets his jab !!!
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The games we have to play to outwit the power freaks. She’s probably jaded from all those who try to rort the system – time for her to change jobs.
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Oh, I chuckled, Tilly. You have the starched muffin of the GPs down to a tee. I myself am fortunate to have a GP which is exemplary, helpful and wonderful at all times: but I have been battling with my mother’s GP telephonists. I end up wanting to punch someone, which is, I suppose, a powerful argument for telephone communication. Bravo.A great post about someone who does not appear to have a softer side.
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I’m glad to know they are not all like that.
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So that’s where the lady who used to work in the Post Office works now! I did wonder. I miss a smile… 🙂
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Post Office counter staff – third after…you know what, I feel another post coming on. Thanks!
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Sorry to hear that you have to go through this rigamorol every year. It just isn’t right. I got my flu shot because we have insurance, $1500.00 a month, so I had better get a flu shot. I tell you insurance companies will be the death of us in the U.S. fingers crossed for you and the Hub.
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Canada seems to have come to the conclusion that everyone should have the flu shot every day because you can easily get one at your doctor’s office, local pharmacies, etc. I get one every year, but Hubby won’t.
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free or not?
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I was put on the at risk list some years ago, so they send me an invitation to attend. The longest part is the 15 minutes we are told to sit and wait after the jab.
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I haven’t read all the comments today, but just to add my pennyworth.
If you don’t qualify under the PGD (patient group directive) the GP should write you an individual prescription, for your specific circumstances. The practice nurse does not have the ‘say so’ and should refer to the GP for specific cases. She is only ‘covered’ to give the jabs for the specified remit under the PGD, which can be read narrowly or broadly.
I suggest you drop a line to the GP directly and ask for a flu jab for the Hub (in view of his repeated health problems relating to his neurological condition, ME) and one for you as his primary carer. Then make an appointment with him / her, so that you can have them directly from the GP, this year, then ask him or her to add a note to your medical records for future ref in years to come.
The guidelines for the admin of flu jabs are for ‘a neurological condition, for example multiple sclerosis (MS) or cerebral palsy’ – (the ‘for examples’ should cover those who are vulnerable not just the mentioned diagnosis…..)
and you should get it under the heading
” [you are] ….the main carer for an elderly or disabled person whose welfare may be at risk if you fall ill
fingers crossed.
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Thanks for this, Pseu.
I’ll be honest, writing to the GP sounds a bit scary! I didn’t know it was allowed. Seriously.
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They are only human….
well Cyclo is anyway 🙂
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otherwise ring the receptionist and ask to be put on the GP’s telephone call list to discuss an important confidential matter. She needn’t know what it is about.
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Can I write to him, then?
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you’d have to register as a temporary resident….
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It would be funny if it wasn’t so damn annoying.. makes me realise how lucky I am to have delightful GP receptionist.. must tell them next time I’m in there !
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Have you tried bribing with Malteasers? Seriously, I’m really sorry. I hate to hear this, although I think that “the keepers of the doctors den” are universally irritating. My dad has been in “heathcare hell” a bit this year and many of his issues could have been eased if the receptionists cared enough to help my parents work through a few minor issues. I’m sending a hug! I think you could use it! 🙂
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Hugs are always gratefully received, though money and expensive gifts are preferred 😉
Hehe! Thank you xx
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My current health insurance plan gives free flu shots to all members, because they know it costs them a lot less than dealing with sick people. Can’t complain about free flu shots, right?
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I hope you’ve had them?
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Yep, the three of us got the flu nose mist this year. I’m still covered under my ex’s plan for now so I may as well take care of myself.
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Good!
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I’ve had the opposite experience. Ben is on the list for flu jab every year. We received a letter every year, and when I didn’t deal with it, the Beautiful Lady, Keeper of the Appointment Book, rang me last week and said that ‘Ben’s GP asked Ben to come in for a flu jab……”
The solution could be that the glorious laughing housewife moves down south with her family and there should be world peace and flu jab freely available.
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I’m tempted… 🙂
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