Archive | 09:39

Weekly Photo Challenge: Foreign 2

2 Nov

This is a long-overdue post.  Viveka, I apologise for my rudeness.

About six weeks ago, Viveka in Sweden, tired of my Malteser ravings, sent me a large bar of  Swedish chocolate to try.  I sent her some real chocolate in return. You can read what she thought of it here.

I was grateful for the chocolate (when am I not?) but also for the lovely compilation CD she included, which I have listened to and enjoyed.  Thank you for your thoughtfulness, Viveka.

I wanted to blog about the experience of eating Swedish chocolate so there was some delay in opening it.  My family has different tastes in sweets and I thought we should all try it, but I wanted us all together.  I wanted group photos and close-ups of our faces.  (Imagine me sharing chocolate – I must have been ill that day.)  

We waited for Tory Boy to come home for a visit but, by the time he did, it had been so long, I forgot about the chocolate until five minutes before he was leaving.  I shoved some in his mouth:

He thought it was…interesting, and a little peculiar.

Then life got in the way.  Spud was sick, I was sick, the Hub was sick.  The chocolate languished in the cupboard until the Hub spotted it on one of his brief visits downstairs.  I caught him shovelling it in.  He thought it was delicious but I don’t have the photos to prove it; he was too quick for me.  No mean feat in a man who takes ten minutes to get from the front door to the car.

This is a facsimile of his bliss:


Just over half of the large bar remained.  I grabbed Spud and threw some onto his tongue, and ate some myself.

Spud’s reaction was along these lines:

Sorry Viveka.

I tasted strawberry and did this:

Sorry again, Viveka.

What can I say?  Apart from the Hub, we are chocolate cowards, preferring our tried and trusted candy.  However, the Hub loves anything new and foreign and I would like to assure you that your generous gift did find one  welcome and loving home.

Thanks for trying!

Joke 589

2 Nov

Thank you to Philo Yan for sending me this one.

0941 Orbulina universa

0941 Orbulina universa (Photo credit: ProfSimonHaslett)

These are (allegedly) genuine answers from 16 year olds to exam questions. I’m not convinced, but they’re good for a laugh.

Q. Name the four seasons
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists

Q. How is dew formed?
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire

Q. What causes the tides in the oceans?
A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight

Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed

Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections?
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election

Q. What are steroids?
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

Q.. What happens to your body as you age?
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental

Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery

Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A. Premature death

Q. What is artificial insemination?
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow

Q. How can you delay milk turning sour?
A. Keep it in the cow

Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorized (e.g. the abdomen)?
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts – the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E,

Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie

Q. What does ‘varicose’ mean?
A. Nearby

Q. What is the most common form of birth control?
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium

Q. Give the meaning of the term ‘Caesarean section’
A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome

Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor.

Q. What is a terminal illness?
A. When you are sick at the airport.

Q. What does the word ‘benign’ mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight

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