Archive | 20:42

My First Daily Prompt Response

5 Nov

You have three hundred words to justify the existence of your favorite person, place, or thing.

Failure to convince will result in him vanishing without a trace.

The Hub is a really great guy.

Letter From Britain

5 Nov

Sometime in the summer, Kate Shrewsday asked if I would be willing to contribute to a new blog she was setting up, about British life.

I said ‘yes’, of course; and then contributed nothing for months.  However, I now have my groove back and have produced as many as four posts for that blog, Letter From Britain.  Two of the posts you will have read on here first; one included an apology and an accidental lie; one was original material.

The original stuff is reproduced below, for those of you too lazy to visit Letter From Britain, but I hope the rest of you will wander on over.  There is an eclectic mix of writers and writing styles but all have one thing in common: we love Britain and want to give you a flavour of this beautiful, if ancient, country. Some of us prove that by making fun of it.

*

A Letter From Britain

WE’LL GET YOU YET

The Midnight Ride of Paul Revere

The Midnight Ride of Paul Revere (Photo credit: Wikipe

The British are coming! The British are coming!

Americans might claim that saying as theirs, via Paul Revere, but my favourite use of it was when it headlined a newspaper article in the Johannesburg broadsheet, The Star, in the early Nineties.  The article announced that the Equity ban was to be lifted, and British TV would be allowed to be shown in South Africa at last.

What was the first programme to be aired?

Mr Bean.

Thanks for nothing, Equity.

*

According to The TelegraphThe British are coming!  The British are coming! could have been shouted in 90% of the world’s countries at one point or another:

The analysis of the histories of the almost 200 countries in the world found only 22 which have never experienced an invasion by the British.

Among this select group of nations are far-off destinations such as Guatemala, Tajikistan and the Marshall Islands, as well some slightly closer to home, such as Luxembourg.

Don’t worry, countries not yet in the club: if the British don’t get you, Mr Bean probably already has.

*

That reminds me of one of my favourite jokes:

Why does the sun never set on the British Empire?

Because God doesn’t trust an Englishman in the dark.

Joke 592

5 Nov
Marriage

Marriage (Photo credit: Lel4nd)

From Will & Guy.

A husband had just finished reading the book Man of the House.  He stormed into the kitchen and walked directly up to his wife, pointing a finger in her face.

“From now on,” he said, “I want you to know that I am the man of the house and my word is law.  I want you to prepare me a gourmet meal tonight and when I’m finished eating my meal, I expect a scrumptious dessert.  Then, after dinner, you are going to draw me my bath so I can relax.  And when I’m finished with my bath, guess who’s going to dress me and comb my hair?”

His wife replied, “I’m guessing the funeral director.”

 

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