My Romantic Adventures 01 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
What a shame he ended up with me.
The Hub once said the sweetest thing to me. Actually, he often says sweet things to me, but I’m talking about a specific sweet thing.
A character on tv said that he smiled all day because he had just spent the night with the most beautiful girl in the world.
The Hub said, ‘I know exactly how that feels.’
I bet you all said, ‘Aaahhh!’
I said, ‘Who was she?’
More Tim Vine jokes, courtesy of my old school friend, Dave.
Notifies people of a joke. (SVG version) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits. He said, “How flexible are you?” I said, “I can’t make Tuesdays.”
- So I went to the dentist. He said, “Say Aaah.” I said, “Why?” He said, “My dog’s died.”
But I’ll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase. I can hardly contain myself.
- So I went down the local supermarket. I said, “I want to make a complaint: this vinegar’s got lumps in it.” He said, “Those are pickled onions.”