Joke 595

8 Nov

From ajokeaday.com.

Password (game show)

Password (game show) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Fifteen things we wouldn’t know if it wasn’t for the movies

1. The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there, and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.

2. You’re very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

3. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it is not necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.

4. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

5. If staying in a haunted house, women must investigate any strange noises in their most diaphanous underwear, which is just what they happened to be carrying with them at the time the car broke down.

6. If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.

7. If someone says, “I’ll be right back”, they won’t.

8. Computer monitors never display a cursor on screen but always say: Enter Password Now.

9. It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or ending phone conversations. And none of your friends have to knock when they come for a visit.

10. Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.

11. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they’re going to go off.

12. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

13. If you decide to start dancing in the street everyone around you will automatically be able to mirror all the steps you come up with and hear the music in your head.

14. Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.

15. When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.

And one that I noticed myself: no matter how large the house in which a single person lives, guests always sleep on the couch.

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16 Responses to “Joke 595”

  1. judithatwood November 8, 2012 at 04:19 #

    So true, so true! 😎

    Like

  2. jmgoyder November 8, 2012 at 04:29 #

    Exactly!

    Like

  3. Food Stories November 8, 2012 at 05:56 #

    #1 & #11 are my faves 🙂

    Like

  4. slpmartin November 8, 2012 at 06:07 #

    Really does capture information conveyed by movies.

    Like

  5. restlessjo November 8, 2012 at 09:19 #

    Lots of smiles here, Tilly.
    Whatever time of day do you post at? It says in my reader this was posted 4 hours and something minutes ago and it’s 8.18 now! Sorry if you were sleepless but good use of your time.

    Like

  6. sharechair November 8, 2012 at 13:19 #

    Each of these made me chuckle. All so true!

    Like

  7. mairedubhtx November 8, 2012 at 14:07 #

    All very true!

    Like

  8. viveka November 8, 2012 at 14:55 #

    You got … Hollywood … in one post !!! Brilliant work, Linda.

    Like

  9. Amiable Amiable November 8, 2012 at 16:10 #

    I snaughed at this one! Snorted while laughing.

    Like

  10. Al November 8, 2012 at 18:40 #

    #16. A man alone (good guy or bad) with only his revolver, will easily shoot and kill 20 other guys who are trying to kill him with automatic machine guns, especially if he is the star of the movie.

    Like

  11. adinparadise November 8, 2012 at 19:03 #

    All so true, Tilly. “Are you OK?” seems to be one of the most asked questions in the movies I’ve seen on TV.

    Like

  12. robincoyle November 8, 2012 at 20:21 #

    If a crime is committed, there’s gonna be a chase scene.

    Like

  13. Grannymar November 9, 2012 at 09:04 #

    I say “Bring back Miss Marple”!

    Like

  14. Barbara November 9, 2012 at 16:29 #

    #17 Nobody ever goes to the toilet unless there is a bomb under the seat, or to deal drugs
    #18 Jack Bower never eats, washes, shaves or sleeps either.
    #19 If you are a police man & you are retiring in the next week or so, you will be killed.

    Like

  15. lanceleuven November 9, 2012 at 19:20 #

    Oh that did make me chuckle. Cheers, Tilly.

    Like

  16. Three Well Beings November 10, 2012 at 08:24 #

    These are just hilarious! I think my favorite is 15. When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other. This is just too funny! 🙂

    Like

I welcome your comments but be warned: I'm menopausal and as likely to snarl as smile. Wine or Maltesers are an acceptable bribe; or a compliment about my youthful looks and cheery disposition will do in a pinch.

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