101/1001 (Week 84)

10 Nov

Today’s post:

yesterday’s lost post,

re-written

Forgive me, readers, it has been seventeen weeks (and one day) since my last 101/1001 confession.  So what have I done?

I have:

  • Exposed myself
  • to two new experiences

I’m sorry – should that be on one line?

My two new experiences are:

  • Started NaNoWriMo.  You’ll all be as sick of it as me by the end of November.
  • Pressed a button in church.

That last one is not as dull as it sounds.  In fact, it’s so complicated, you might want to grab a notebook and pen so you can keep up with what follows.

The vicar grabbed me on my way in to church last Sunday and asked me to do it. Normally, his teenage daughter (for whom I have new-found respect, nay, adoration) presses all the buttons.  When she’s not there, other people do it.  Last Sunday, the vicar’s teenage daughter and other people were all doing other things.  I think the vicar asked me because I was the first person under seventy to walk in and, technept though I am, I have at least used a computer.

In the second service we use a netbook which goes through a projector onto a white screen above the pulpit.  We used to have a large hymn book, a small songbook, a long, thin service booklet and a sheet with the week’s three readings in full.  Throw in the notice sheet, the monthly prayer diary, the church magazine and sundry flyers for upcoming events and we realised as a church that the people of Jesus are not only trying to save the world, but also to kill it.  

That’s when we came out in favour of technology, if you don’t mind that you can’t look down after the service because of the crick in your neck – it’s a large building; the screen has to be high.

What puzzles me is why the traditionalists in the first service don’t embrace technology.  Okay, many of them are shrinking because of their humps and can’t look up at the projector, but have you tried holding a cornucopia of paperwork with arthritic hands and a cane, gloves and the back of the pew in front to stop you falling over?

Time for the service.

The vicar had given me some papers which I thought had the whole service on but which, as it turned out, had just his bit on.  I didn’t know that at the time, though I did remember afterwards him telling me beforehand.  When a different first screen appeared to the first screen I had on my paper, I panicked.  I scrolled through the whole service in thirty seconds, then back again.  Then forward again.  Then I realised my mistake.  Back to the beginning, and we could start.

Vicar made a little mistake during preparation of the service to be projected: he put the first prayer before the first hymn which was the third song and not after the first hymn which was the third song because it was too close to the second prayer which came after the first hymn/third song.  I dried the cold sweat from my fingers and pressed that button backwards and forwards and backwards and forwards until I found something that read like the words coming from his lips.  

Five minutes in and I was a nervous wreck.  When Mr Vic gestured halfway through the service that I should skip a screen because his sermon had over run by a slight fifteen minutes, I had my third new experience: fainting in church.

Back to 101/1001.  I have also:

  • Done the usual things of watching new movies and reading new books but if they are interesting, I blog about them at the time.  I have not reached my targets yet and I am embarrassed to admit that I am closer to having watched a 101 new films than I am to having read a 101 new books.  I have read way more than a 101 books this year, however, including the Twilight series a dozen times.  Actually, it’s more than a dozen times, but I don’t want you to think I’m exaggerating so I played it down.
  • Written 171 poems.  I am only eight behind target.  I’ll catch up during April’s NaPoWriMo, when I have to write a poem a day for thirty days, and I usually write about ninety in the whole month.
  • Surpassed my target of 30,000 comments on my blog in 1001 days by 6,931.  As we are only just past the halfway mark, I think I need a new target.  I am going to be ambitious and aim for a total of 100,000 comments by the end of this challenge.  If nothing else, it will force me to be polite and answer each and every one of your delightful and helpful comments, which takes forever.   At least I’ll have an excuse to decline next time I’m asked to press the button in church.

*

 

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35 Responses to “101/1001 (Week 84)”

  1. misswhiplash November 10, 2012 at 09:09 #

    oh dear you did get yourself into a tizz-wozz….hope you are feeling better….

    Like

  2. ferragudofan November 10, 2012 at 10:14 #

    ah well here’s another comment to add to the total! tip for church – next time hurry in looking really busy and as if you are looking for someone!! then you won’t get asked to button press again – I have to say your attempt at pressing the buttons wrong won’t get you out of being asked again – the vicar will be so pleased you actually said yes that he’ll have you earmarked for the future!!
    have to say – I’ve been at the ‘other end’ of this actually preaching – it’s quite daunting too!

    Like

  3. Grannymar November 10, 2012 at 11:03 #

    You did well with the button pressing….. a sure way to get out of it next time!!

    Like

  4. Ron. November 10, 2012 at 11:17 #

    Such pressure would have killed me. Yet another reason to never visit church.

    Like

  5. Elaine - I used to be indecisive November 10, 2012 at 11:21 #

    That button pressing sounds very complicated indeed – well done for surviving!

    Like

  6. Georgia November 10, 2012 at 11:42 #

    I’ve had to do the button pressing job before too and it is exactly as you describe. Sometimes even harder for me as I don’t have great eyesight and can’t read what is on large the screen that everyone can see – very problematic on days when there are ‘technical difficulties’ on the laptop at the back.

    Like

  7. ferragudofan November 10, 2012 at 12:22 #

    just saw this on twitter and thought it might be useful?
    http://www.onlinephdprograms.com/25-most-effective-tools-for-nanowrimo-success/

    Like

  8. Jim November 10, 2012 at 12:33 #

    🙂 I was to one of your church (not AT your church, it was another Church of England I am sure) sevices and things did seem complicated in keeping with the order. You must have had quite a job. To beat all that we had communion with the assistant vicar handling the right side of the church.

    This time we attended a Baptist church (Baptist Central London) and things were much simpler. But they did not have communion that day.
    ..

    Like

  9. lenwilliamscarver November 10, 2012 at 12:43 #

    such a brave woman to accept the button pushing!

    Like

  10. mairedubhtx November 10, 2012 at 13:15 #

    You’re doing quite well in your challenges, don’t you think? And you’ve brought technology to your church. Woo-hoo! And look at all the comments you’ve received! You are well on your way to your revised challenge. Way to go, girlfriend!

    Like

  11. adinparadise November 10, 2012 at 13:45 #

    I would never agree to pressing buttons, even if I thought God was on my side. I know I’d be sure to mess up with nobody’s help needed. Love the cartoon, especially the “eating mints’ bit. 😆 Well done on the stats…… you’re awesome. 🙂

    Like

  12. Fi Biedermann (@Insp2Dream) November 10, 2012 at 13:58 #

    Firstly I’m adding to your goal of 100,000 comments, secondly I feel honoured to comment on the post of a well renowned button pusher.

    Thirdly, up until I began working on an IT project I thought it was all conspiracy when ‘tech stuff’ played up or misbehaved, now I know the truth – it’s totally a conspiracy, there’s no maybe about it 🙂

    Like

  13. laurieanichols November 10, 2012 at 15:31 #

    Did you really faint in church? I am known for that and as I was reading about your tortured experience I was thinking that if I had been in your shoes I would have been fainting right about now and then you fainted. Not a pleasant experience I know. I faint if it’s too hot, if there are too many people, if I am stressed beyond stress. Hope that it wasn’t too embarrassing. 🙂

    Like

  14. Judy Loeffler November 10, 2012 at 16:21 #

    here is to button pushing!

    Like

  15. sanstorm November 10, 2012 at 16:53 #

    Oh well done on the button pressing. I have my “I always play the violin” wild-card to get out of that one.
    And yes, every time there is a blip, the whole congregation do notice 😳

    Like

  16. joursdemots November 10, 2012 at 17:04 #

    I’m with Ron.

    Like

  17. brenda November 10, 2012 at 17:35 #

    WOW! so much work when you just went to pray!

    Like

  18. SchmidleysScribbling November 10, 2012 at 17:44 #

    Grannymar is wrong. The way to get out of something is screw it up. If you do it right you will be on the vicar’s list for sure. I’ll be you never screwed up ever. Dianne

    Like

  19. Karen S. November 10, 2012 at 19:07 #

    It’s true then- being under pressure promotes!

    Like

  20. slpmartin November 10, 2012 at 20:12 #

    Must agree that you did a masterful job of avoiding the next opportunity to press buttons.

    Like

  21. robincoyle November 10, 2012 at 20:26 #

    When you said “The Vicar grabbed me,” I had a vision of it being your third new experience . . . if you know what I mean.

    Like

  22. restlessjo November 10, 2012 at 21:40 #

    I’m exhausted and can’t keep up, Tilly!

    Like

  23. viveka November 10, 2012 at 21:51 #

    NaNoWriMo writing and pressing the buttons must the same stress levels. It would have for me. What has happen with the old fashion organist? Well done anyhow. GOOD LUCK WITH ALL YOU GOALS!!!!!

    Like

  24. Snakypoet (Rosemary Nissen-Wade) November 11, 2012 at 00:35 #

    What a dreadful experience!!!

    Like

  25. judithatwood November 11, 2012 at 17:09 #

    Your life sounds like such fun!!! Aaaaaarrrrrrrgggggghhhhhhhhh!!!

    Like

  26. vivinfrance November 12, 2012 at 08:32 #

    Do you really think they will ask you again? Whatever happened to the days of everyone taking their own prayer book and hymn book to Church and the priest giving out the notices in a stentorian voice from the pulpit before the sermon or (the ones he forgot) at the end of the service before the ite missa est.

    Like

  27. Pam November 12, 2012 at 10:17 #

    I was there! And I have never seen such a look of cold terror on someone’s face when the words on the screen didn’t match the words coming out of the Vicar’s mouth! You are incredibly brave my friend – and much braver than me….I was asked to do this month’s ago but declined as politely as possible (as in “over my dead body…”). You ended up doing a fabulous job and deserve an extra ration of Maltesers! And by the way…I have just read this blog (and the comments from your readers) and it has taken me 15 minutes to stop me crying with laughter!

    Like

  28. eof737 November 12, 2012 at 11:50 #

    Sounds pretty hectic to me… 🙂

    Like

  29. Jeff November 12, 2012 at 22:32 #

    My wife presses some of the buttons at church. She runs the “Mac” for the slides for the songs and the sermon. It’s a “Mac” because they all like Apple better than PC. It’s very nerve-wracking at times.

    Like

I welcome your comments but be warned: I'm menopausal and as likely to snarl as smile. Wine or Maltesers are an acceptable bribe; or a compliment about my youthful looks and cheery disposition will do in a pinch.

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