Joke 604

Thanks to Viveka for this one.

Men don’t understand us, so here’s a translation guide:

(Photo credit: deeplifequotes)

We say: You want
It means: You want

We say: We need
It means: I want

We say: It’s your decision
It means: The correct decision should be obvious

We say: What do you want?
It means: You’ll pay for this later

We say: We need to talk
It means: I’m not pleased

We say: Sure…go ahead
It means: If you dare

We say: I’m not upset
It means: Of course I’m upset you moron

We say: You’re…so manly
It means: You need a shave and you sweat a lot

We say: Be romantic, turn out the lights
It means: I have flabby thighs.

We say: This kitchen is so inconvenient
It means: I want a new house.

We say: I want new curtains
It means: Also carpeting, furniture, and wallpaper

We say: I need new shoes
It means: The other forty pairs don’t really fit

We say: Hang the picture there
It means: No, I mean hang it there!

We say: I heard a noise
It means: I noticed you were almost asleep

We say: Do you love me?
It means: I’m going to ask for something expensive.

We say: How much do you love me?
It means: I did something today you’re not going to like

We say: I’ll be ready in a minute.
It means: Take a nap.

We say: Am I fat?
It means: Tell me I’m beautiful