Archive | 14:42

Readers Say The Darndest Things

23 Nov

I don’t know if you read all of the comments on this blog, but they are often better than the posts.  My readers are a funny lot.

Yesterday, Charlie from Read Between The Minds left a You Tube clip for me to watch.  

I’ve never heard of Art Linkletter, who had a show called Kids Say The Darndest Things.  Spud, however, was on a British version called Michael Barrymore’s Kids Say The Funniest Things.  Sadly, there’s no tape of it: the show was recorded in February, along with a whole series, but never shown because there was a terrible scandal that summer, when a man died at Barrymore’s home.  The scandal ended Barrymore’s career.

The clip Charlie left is from 1959.  I cried with laughter.  

I’ll tell you my two favourite quotes after the video, because I don’t want to spoil it for you.

I loved the little girl who said that ‘Adam and Eve had a whole mess o’ babies,’ because she’s just the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.

And I love the logic of the little boy who told us that God’s punishment on Eve for causing all the trouble was to make her ‘a housewife.’  Out of the mouths of babes…

Thanks for a huge laugh, Charlie.

 

Happy Birthday, Miss Whiplash

23 Nov

 

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Happy Birthday To A Many Named Woman

Miss Whiplash made a splash the first time she crossed my blogosphere.
She was not the naughty madam of the news, as I had feared.
A lovely lass of 72 who was sweet and always here,
liking every post of mine but without the help of beer.

Her real name is Patrecia
with the spelling most peculiar.
Her honesty is refreshing;
if I’m not being too familiar.

There is one thing I need to ask;
I hope she won’t take me to task -
I really need to know
for this poem has nowhere else to go:

Miss Dubya
are the women hairier
in Bulgaria?

A picture of a birthday cake

Happy 73rd Birthday dear, sweet Patrecia.

May your kitchen be new, your animals be many and your husband called Neville.

Love,

Tilly

Dear readers, visit Patrecia at her blog.  You won’t be sorry.

If you would like a nonsense poem for your birthday, leave your details in the comments.  Payment is a visit to Patrecia’s blog.

Joke 610

23 Nov

Dave still has plenty of Tim Vine jokes for you.

Bad Pun

Bad Pun (Photo credit: Dr Stephen Dann)

  • You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today.  They left a little note on the windscreen, it said ‘Parking Fine.’  So that was nice.
  • So I went down my local ice cream shop, and said, ‘I want to buy an ice-cream’.  He said, ‘Hundreds & thousands?’ I said,  ‘We’ll start with one.’  He said, ‘Knickerbocker glory?’  I said, ‘I do get a certain amount of freedom in these trousers, yes.’
  • When I left home my mum said, ‘Don’t forget to write.’  I thought, ‘That’s unlikely…it’s a basic skill, isn’t it?’
  • Exit signs – they’re on the way out, aren’t they?
  • Now, most dentists’ chairs go up and down, don’t they?  The one I was in went back and forwards.  I thought, ‘This is unusual.’  And the dentist said to me, ‘Mr Vine, get out of the filing cabinet.
  • So I rang up my local swimming baths.  I said, ‘Is that the local swimming baths?’  He said,  ‘It depends where you’re calling from.’
  • I rang up a local building firm.  I said, ‘I want a skip outside my house.’  He said, ‘I’m not stopping you.’
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