Joke 610

23 Nov

Dave still has plenty of Tim Vine jokes for you.

Bad Pun

Bad Pun (Photo credit: Dr Stephen Dann)

  • You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today.  They left a little note on the windscreen, it said ‘Parking Fine.’  So that was nice.
  • So I went down my local ice cream shop, and said, ‘I want to buy an ice-cream’.  He said, ‘Hundreds & thousands?’ I said,  ‘We’ll start with one.’  He said, ‘Knickerbocker glory?’  I said, ‘I do get a certain amount of freedom in these trousers, yes.’
  • When I left home my mum said, ‘Don’t forget to write.’  I thought, ‘That’s unlikely…it’s a basic skill, isn’t it?’
  • Exit signs – they’re on the way out, aren’t they?
  • Now, most dentists’ chairs go up and down, don’t they?  The one I was in went back and forwards.  I thought, ‘This is unusual.’  And the dentist said to me, ‘Mr Vine, get out of the filing cabinet.
  • So I rang up my local swimming baths.  I said, ‘Is that the local swimming baths?’  He said,  ‘It depends where you’re calling from.’
  • I rang up a local building firm.  I said, ‘I want a skip outside my house.’  He said, ‘I’m not stopping you.’
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9 Responses to “Joke 610”

  1. adinparadise November 23, 2012 at 04:12 #

    Hahaha…..”Parking fine.”

    Like

  2. slpmartin November 23, 2012 at 04:36 #

    Quite liked that first one…have a great week!

    Like

  3. jmgoyder November 23, 2012 at 05:06 #

    Ah my daily dose of laughter – thanks Tilly!

    Like

  4. bevchen November 23, 2012 at 08:54 #

    I like the picture. World peas 😀 It reminds me of a purse my sister used to have, a picture of the Earth with a couple of peas standing on it holding a sign reading “Peas on Earth”.

    Like

  5. sanstorm November 23, 2012 at 11:39 #

    😆
    Thanks, Tilly.

    Like

  6. misswhiplash November 23, 2012 at 13:10 #

    You are one crazy lady…but we loves ya!

    Like

  7. terry1954 November 23, 2012 at 19:46 #

    i liked the dentist one. those chairs scare me to death. i lose all control once being placed on one. a dentist takes over all controls!!!

    Like

  8. viveka November 23, 2012 at 20:59 #

    Parking fine …. brilliant !!!!

    Like

I welcome your comments but be warned: I'm menopausal and as likely to snarl as smile. Wine or Maltesers are an acceptable bribe; or a compliment about my youthful looks and cheery disposition will do in a pinch.

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