Archive | 10:10

The Love That Dare Not Speak Its Name

26 Nov
The Cross Section of a Maltesers

The Cross Section of a Malteser (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Kiwidutch has sensibly learned to love Maltesers, despite the heresy of first mistaking them for faux-Crunchies.

Crunchie Bar insides

Crunchie Bar insides (Photo credit: avlxyz)

It led to me think that there’s not much you don’t know about my likes, dislikes and loves.

Then I opened a packet of cheese & onion crisps and it occurred to me  - hold your breath because I don’t think you’re going to believe this – if I had to give up either cheese & onion crisps or Maltesers, I would give up Maltesers.

I had a think about why I never mention my favourite snack on this blog and I realise it’s because Maltesers don’t give you bad breath, but cheese & onion crisps do.  I don’t want my readers going away with a bad smell under their noses.  Think about it – you can smell them now, can’t you?  And it’s horrible, isn’t it?   I want you to think of me as sweet-smelling.  There’s nothing worse than someone else eating cheese & onion crisps when you’re not.  Okay, war and famine and earthquakes are worse, but admit it – halitosis isn’t far behind. 

Cheese and Onions

Cheese and Onion crisps (Photo credit: Watt_Dabney)

Here is my ideal snack break:

  • A packet of cheese & onion crisps – slowly suck off the flavour, savouring the taste.  But do it in-mouth; licking is simply bad manners, even when eating alone.
  • A packet of Maltesers - slowly suck off the flavour, savouring the taste. But do it in-mouth; licking is simply bad manners, even when eating alone.
  • A mug of Earl Grey tea, black.  Drink at optimum temperature i.e. has been standing 21 minutes if large mug; 17 minutes for small mug. Should be just hot enough to meet the criteria for being a hot drink i.e. hot, but cool enough not to leave you needing a palate graft.  It is a fine art and many a perfect snack time has been destroyed by me jumping up and doing the burney tongue dance around the living room.  A too-cool cup can be re-heated in the microwave, but the effect is already ruined, so I generally don’t bother.  It’s like enjoying that first mug of tea so much you make another, which never tastes the same.
  • Mint chewing gum to disguise the bad breath until a toothbrush can be accessed.

What’s your ideal snack break?

 

Joke 613

26 Nov

From writersjokes.

Diagram showing the major parts of a modern in...

Diagram showing the major parts of a modern incandescent light bulb. Glass bulb Inert gas Tungsten filament Contact wire (goes to foot) Contact wire (goes to base) Support wires Glass mount/support Base contact wire Screw threads Insulation Electrical foot contact (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two.  One to screw the bulb almost all the way in, and one to give a surprising twist at the end.

*

*

*

How many cover blurb writers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

*
A VAST AND TEEMING HORDE STRETCHING FROM SEA TO SHINING SEA!

 

Quickly's

Get loose. Try something different.

benzeknees

A frustrated writer, who is her own worst enemy

Edwina Currie Made Me Start This Blog

Don't get mad; get writing

this fragile tent

a blog about small beautiful things

epitaphsblog

The last word on celebrities

Gethsemane Seeds

Learning the way of Christ

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,065 other followers

%d bloggers like this: