Joke 634

17 Dec
  • The one thing women don’t want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband.
    – Joan Rivers
  • Once again, we come to the holiday season – a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.
    – Dave Barry
  • Christmas, here again. Let us raise a loving cup: Peace on earth, goodwill to men, and make them do the washing up.
    – Wendy Cope
  • There is a remarkable breakdown of taste and intelligence at Christmastime. Mature, responsible grown men wear neckties made of holly leaves and drink alcoholic beverages with raw egg yolks and cottage cheese in them.
    – P.J. O’Rourke
  • I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying “Toys not included”.
    – Bernard Manning
  • That’s the true spirit of Christmas: people being helped by people other than me.
    – Jerry Seinfeld

These came from the Huffington Post.

 

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12 Responses to “Joke 634”

  1. adinparadise December 17, 2012 at 04:19 #

    Love these, especially the ‘batteries’ one. 😀

    Like

  2. terry1954 December 17, 2012 at 04:28 #

    oh that was so darn cute!!!!

    Like

  3. vastlycurious.com December 17, 2012 at 04:46 #

    THANKS TILLY as usual!

    Like

  4. Musings December 17, 2012 at 05:15 #

    Too funny! I like the battery one too. I think I’m almost ready for the holidays now. Almost.

    Like

  5. slpmartin December 17, 2012 at 05:35 #

    Oh…I was laughing as soon as I saw the photo.

    Like

  6. Judith Atwood December 17, 2012 at 06:05 #

    Terrific post — just what I needed!

    Like

  7. Elaine - I used to be indecisive December 17, 2012 at 09:00 #

    The batteries one is good! 🙂

    Like

  8. bevchen December 17, 2012 at 09:28 #

    lol, these ones are actually pretty good.

    Like

  9. Grannymar December 20, 2012 at 14:52 #

    I love the batteries! 😆

    Like

I welcome your comments but be warned: I'm menopausal and as likely to snarl as smile. Wine or Maltesers are an acceptable bribe; or a compliment about my youthful looks and cheery disposition will do in a pinch.

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