Father Christmas, My Son

18 Dec

In an Ideal World, Tory Boy would be Santa Claus.

Oh, wait, he is:

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Tory Boy works as an assistant producer for Ideal World shopping channel; an excellent training ground for his future career in politics, getting people to buy what they neither want or need, but it looks good and they talk a great game, so why not?

The presenters needed a Father Christmas; Tory Boy volunteered.  He had great fun ho-ho-hoing around the studio, playing with the toys.

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He sent us a text to let us know he was going to be in front of the camera.   As he lives darn sarf and we haven’t seen him in months, we sat down, excited, to watch.

We cringed with embarrassment.  So did one of the presenters, who made a point of pointing them out: Tory Boy was wearing shoes he bought six years ago, when he was still at school.  We could smell them from several hundred miles away.

I hope he’s added new shoes to his list, so he can bring himself some.

We tried to replace those shoes last Christmas, over my loud and lengthy protests.  The Hub was convinced Tory Boy would love the new pair we bought him.  I was not.

To my joy – it almost never happens – the Hub was wrong; Tory Boy thought they were dreadful.  My joy was short-lived – Tory Boy thought they were dreadful; we ruined his Christmas.  What terrible parents we are.  We bought him lots of other stuff but he didn’t like one of his presents.  We ruined his Christmas. What terrible parents we are.

Photo by Best DSC!

Maybe my son, Father Christmas, can bring himself a new father for Christmas.

Just a new father: it’s a lot harder to replace a mother.  Especially when she’s clinging to your trouser legs and begging you not to leave her to go off to work/university/school/any place she can’t be with you.

In an ideal world, husbands would always be wrong and my children would still need me.  I hope Father Christmas can sort that out this year.  Failing that, I’ll have to undercook the turkey – nothing says ‘I need you, Mummy,’ like food poisoning.  

*

The legal stuff:  The first two images are of Ideal World and the transmission belongs to them.

The kid in the red suit and scruffy shoes is mine.  

 

40 Responses to “Father Christmas, My Son”

  1. lenwilliamscarver December 18, 2012 at 11:45 #

    VERY HANDSOME YOUNG MAN! Like the shoes he received last year. Love love the yorkies… my K.D. is min-pin/yorkie!

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  2. misswhiplash December 18, 2012 at 11:48 #

    I love Ideal World..I am one of their best clients…Wish I had seen Tory Boy doing his bit!
    Lots of love to you all and just stay as sweet as you are!
    Seems to me that however hard you try to please kids when they are older..you fail every time.
    I try to be Mother Consoler for my 39 year old daughter who is having ‘love’ problems then the next minute get my head bitten off..you just can’t win

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  3. terry1954 December 18, 2012 at 12:09 #

    What a proud mama you must be of a talented son, but I don’t know what you are going to do with those unwanted gifts. hehe

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  4. gigihawaii December 18, 2012 at 12:40 #

    You have another son who is into acting? How proud you must be, shoe or no shoe!

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  5. jmgoyder December 18, 2012 at 12:47 #

    I like him better without the costume and, well, the shoes are, well, you know – no comment!

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  6. Elaine - I used to be indecisive December 18, 2012 at 12:49 #

    Ho ho ho. What a versatile person Tory Boy is. Hope Father Christmas brings him some new shoes this year! Ones that he likes. 😉

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  7. vivinfrance December 18, 2012 at 14:23 #

    Do you expect TB to forgive you for this?

    TB, she really is very proud of you, despite the shoes.

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  8. mairedubhtx December 18, 2012 at 14:31 #

    Not every mother can say that her son has played Father Christmas on television. You should be so proud! It’s quite an achievement for a young person to portray a timeless old man.

    Like

  9. laurieanichols December 18, 2012 at 14:41 #

    How could the Hub have been so wrong on that one, wow. You did right by immortalizing it since it doesn’t happen so very often. Tory Boy makes for a very handsome Santa, very jolly. Your little Yorkies are adorable! I agree with you by the way, hubbies and fathers should always be wrong and the wives and mothers always be right. That should be the natural order of things. 🙂

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  10. sharechair December 18, 2012 at 15:14 #

    I love how you credited the photo “kid is mine”…. so talented, you!

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  11. viveka December 18, 2012 at 16:46 #

    I think your son … just look like the Santa we have over here on TV – even if we don’t have this channel, at least not me. The roll suits him well. Linda, let the young man wear his stinking shoes … wait until he meet that special girl and things will change overnight.

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  12. slpmartin December 18, 2012 at 16:47 #

    Tory Boy’s shoes were a poetic statement about how hard Father Christmas has to work this time of year…totally appropriate…how’s that for a rationalization?

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  13. SchmidleysScribbling December 18, 2012 at 17:59 #

    So are you having a little ham for Christmas? Just kidding of course.

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  14. Janet Williams December 18, 2012 at 20:44 #

    Everybody on telly is a celebrity. Now I can say out loud I KNOW a celebrity! What a wonderful job for a young man and something for the future generation to admire/amuse/tease! This job and the pair of shoes could only happen in Tilly Bud’s household.

    Like

  15. restlessjo December 18, 2012 at 21:41 #

    Aww!

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  16. Al December 18, 2012 at 22:19 #

    Loved this post. As a fiscal conservative here in the U.S, I think he and I could have some interesting political discussions. The first topic would be: “Do shoes make the man or vice versa?”

    Like

  17. Tom (Aquatom1968) December 18, 2012 at 22:22 #

    WordPress bloggers’ children all seem to be appearing on TV in one form or another. First Kate’s two and now yours, Tilly! Celebs in the making perhaps?

    Like

  18. kateshrewsday December 18, 2012 at 23:02 #

    And a very dashing Santa he makes too, Tilly 😀

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  19. Judith Atwood December 19, 2012 at 01:16 #

    😎

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  20. Perfecting Motherhood December 19, 2012 at 03:37 #

    Remember Elf? You’re not Santa! You’re wearing old shoes!!!

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  21. kiwidutch December 19, 2012 at 10:14 #

    15 minutes of Fame!!!! (I know… now he’s got a taste for it he will probably be unbearable… no wait… that’s the stink of the shoes !)

    p.s. Tell him the Ladies don’t like the stinky shoes… that should see them gone faster than the speed of light, no?

    Like

  22. Grannymar December 20, 2012 at 16:40 #

    I hope you changed ‘The’ shoes for an identical pair in Hubby’s size. It sounded like he really liked them.

    Like

I welcome your comments but be warned: I'm menopausal and as likely to snarl as smile. Wine or Maltesers are an acceptable bribe; or a compliment about my youthful looks and cheery disposition will do in a pinch.