So Long As I Don’t Have To Touch It…

23 Dec
Eugène Delacroix - Sketch for Peace Descends t...

Eugène Delacroix – Sketch for Peace Descends to Earth – WGA06217 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I was doing the last of the ironing in the kitchen yesterday when I heard the Hub talking to someone in a gentle voice:

Now what are you doing back here?  Haven’t I put you out three times?  I know it’s cold and wet but you can’t stay here…

There was a pause.  He was obviously thinking.

He came into the kitchen, hands cupped.  I thought it was in supplication until I saw the huge spider dancing over them.

The Hub turned pleading eyes to me:

Please can he stay?  I’ve put him out three times but he keeps coming back in.  You can’t blame him: it’s miserable out there.  Can’t we find a dark spot where he won’t bother you?

Call it the season – not just about getting the ironing up to date, but also about peace on earth and goodwill to all men, women and arachnids – but I caved:

Fine.  Put him behind the trunks at the end of the hall.

The thing I feared has come upon me: the Hub has made me a spider-lover.

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47 Responses to “So Long As I Don’t Have To Touch It…”

  1. faydanamyjake December 23, 2012 at 08:17 #

    It will lick your eyeballs in the night 🙂

    Like

  2. jmgoyder December 23, 2012 at 08:52 #

    Oh you guys are so hilarious! I used to love spiders when I was a little girl.

    Like

  3. jmgoyder December 23, 2012 at 08:54 #

    BTW what is ironing? haha

    Like

  4. sufilight December 23, 2012 at 09:25 #

    And I thought I was being very accomodating when I let my s/o bring a frog into the kitchen. Can’t tell him this spider story or else he may get ideas. 😀

    Like

  5. bevchen December 23, 2012 at 10:25 #

    LOL, “You can’t blame him”. Errr, yes I can. He’s a SPIDER! They’re designed to live outside 😉 Actually I don’t mind spiders as long as they stay where I can’t see them, and don’t come in the bedroom. Ironing on the other hand is evil!

    Like

  6. Pseu December 23, 2012 at 11:40 #

    You have done the right thing. As long as the dogs don’t get her.

    Like

  7. sharechair December 23, 2012 at 13:25 #

    don’t I remember you built a shed? A great house for a spider.

    Like

  8. kiwidutch December 23, 2012 at 13:51 #

    Nature: that’s where it belongs… Preferably on a nice big mountain a long long long way away.
    As for fussy about the shed, sorry for me it would be the shed or die. (too many childhood traumas with spiders to be more forgiving than that sorry).
    Eeek you are brave.. tha hallway? noooooo …waaay too close.
    For other creatures: frogs, lizards etc ,,, they are sweet and could stay.

    Like

  9. laurieanichols December 23, 2012 at 14:51 #

    Don’t worry, you haven’t become a spider lover. It’s the Christmas spirit that has taken you and perhaps the ironing. The Hub is so cute.

    Like

  10. terry1954 December 23, 2012 at 15:05 #

    call me cold and cruel, but i would have stomped that spider and in the trash he would have gone. i have a huge fear of those many legged beasts!

    Like

  11. Karen Snyder December 23, 2012 at 15:41 #

    “Do you understand how there could be any writing in a spider’s web?”
    “Oh, no,” said Dr. Dorian. “I don’t understand it. But for that matter I don’t understand how a spider learned to spin a web in the first place. When the words appeared, everyone said they were a miracle. But nobody pointed out that the web itself is a miracle.”
    “What’s miraculous about a spider’s web?” said Mrs. Arable. “I don’t see why you say a web is a miracle-it’s just a web.”
    “Ever try to spin one?” asked Dr. Dorian.”
    ― E.B. White, Charlotte’s Web

    Perhaps you a sheltering a muse? 🙂

    Like

  12. judithatwood December 23, 2012 at 15:45 #

    AAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

    Like

  13. mairedubhtx December 23, 2012 at 16:20 #

    Well, it is Christmastime, you know.

    Like

  14. granny1947 December 23, 2012 at 16:48 #

    I would allow a spider to stay…as long as it wasn’t TOO big.
    And very hairy.
    They don’t stand a chance here.
    Mex always has a tin of Doom handy.

    Like

  15. gigihawaii December 23, 2012 at 17:04 #

    Eeek!!! I HATE spiders. They are NOT cute!!!

    Like

  16. viveka December 23, 2012 at 17:45 #

    Your hub has his heart on the right spot – a spider … needs warmth and an indoor Christmas too. Thanks for this little wonderful .. a true Christmas story. I understand why you love your man as you do.

    Like

  17. siberianstarbeads December 23, 2012 at 18:24 #

    I am completely phobic about any creature with more than four legs, with an emphasis on spiders, so under no circumstances would he have been allowed to remain in my house. However, my husband would have been welcome to put the spider in his truck!

    Like

  18. Elaine - I used to be indecisive December 23, 2012 at 18:57 #

    You are a kinder person than I would be in that situation! I have progressed in that I can now cover a spider with a glass, slide a piece of card under it, and then put it outside. I used to kill them, no reprieves allowed. I’m afraid I couldn’t see the spider and then allow it to stay. I’m sure our house has loads of spiders in it, but as long as I haven’t seen them, they are safe!

    Like

  19. adeeyoyo December 23, 2012 at 19:54 #

    Ooh, you are brave, Tilly! I couldn’t keep it inside unless I was sure I wouldn’t come across it. It would have to be CONTAINED somewhere where I could be sure it couldn’t escape.

    Like

  20. SchmidleysScribbling December 23, 2012 at 20:36 #

    And don’t you forget what happened to the Lady of Shallot. Dianne

    Like

  21. slpmartin December 23, 2012 at 22:17 #

    Now that I’ve finally stopped laughing…I must admit that you have a very kindhearted hub on your hands…have a blessed Christmas.

    Like

  22. kateshrewsday December 23, 2012 at 23:27 #

    Now THAT is a development I never thought to see, Tilly….

    Like

  23. Katharine Trauger December 25, 2012 at 04:11 #

    Umm — your initials don’t happen to be MJ, do they? 😆

    Actually, just today I had to remove all books from an old bookcase so I could move it. It was a mess, anyway, since the grandkids never put books back right, being too young to understand. At the very bottom, near the center, I found a black widow spider. Do you have those over there? They can kill a person with one bite, especially someone little. So it is dead. Tell hubs “so sorry” for me. 😉

    Like

  24. benzeknees December 25, 2012 at 08:56 #

    Keep your spider! Never gonna happen in my house!

    Like

  25. eof737 December 30, 2012 at 04:22 #

    Yikes! I don’t like them.

    Like

I welcome your comments but be warned: I'm menopausal and as likely to snarl as smile. Wine or Maltesers are an acceptable bribe; or a compliment about my youthful looks and cheery disposition will do in a pinch.

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