Archive | 10:37

Two Conversations From My Past

3 Jan

Fresh out of ideas, I offer two re-posts from January 2011.

 

I silenced a teenager.

Spud came in from school and as usual didn’t listen to a thing I said (okay, it was all orders; but that’s not the point, is it?).  I followed him into the lounge and started that forced-out panting pregnant women do.

Spud:  What are you doing?

Mum:  Wasting my breath.

Spud:  Why?

Mum:  Thought I might as well carry on what I started, because I wasted it telling you to turn the hall light off.

Spud:  … … …

A small victory, but I’ll take them where I can get them.

 

The Hub silenced me

Hub: I’ll have to pop up to the shops; I need some Aeros.

Me:    Aeros?

Hub: Yes, Aeros.

Me:  Why do you need Aeros?

Hub: For the fish.

Me:   You can’t feed chocolate to the fish!

Hub: Not Aeros, you wally.  Air.  Hose.

Joke 651

3 Jan
Politics Balloons

Politics Balloons (Photo credit: Newfrontiers)

  • Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.  HL Mencken [Journalist and satirist]
  • In democracy everyone has the right to be represented, even the jerks.  Chris Patten [Former UK MP and Governor of Hong-Kong]
  • Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the National Debt.   Herbert Hoover [President USA 1929-1933]
  • You’ll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.  Robin Williams [Comedian and actor]
  • A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.  George W Bush [President USA]
  • Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.  Marion Barry [Mayor of Washington DC]
  • I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.   Will Rogers [Comedian, social commentator, vaudeville actor]
  • The House of Commons is the longest running farce in the West End.  Cyril Smith [Former UK MP]

From Will & Guy.

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