Fresh out of ideas, I offer two re-posts from January 2011.
I silenced a teenager.
Spud came in from school and as usual didn’t listen to a thing I said (okay, it was all orders; but that’s not the point, is it?). I followed him into the lounge and started that forced-out panting pregnant women do.
Spud: What are you doing?
Mum: Wasting my breath.
Mum: Thought I might as well carry on what I started, because I wasted it telling you to turn the hall light off.
Spud: … … …
A small victory, but I’ll take them where I can get them.
The Hub silenced me
Hub: I’ll have to pop up to the shops; I need some Aeros.
Hub: Yes, Aeros.
Me: Why do you need Aeros?
Hub: For the fish.
Me: You can’t feed chocolate to the fish!
Hub: Not Aeros, you wally. Air. Hose.