Joke 655

7 Jan

Dancing On Ice started again last night, so here are a couple of ice skating jokes.  They’re not very good.  You can have mean and funny or not mean and not particularly funny.

*

Q: How is music like ice skating?

A: If you don’t C sharp you’ll B flat.

***

Tara Lipinski's tiny dress

Tara Lipinski’s tiny dress (Photo credit: litlnemo)

“This week 15-year-old gold medalist Tara Lipinski made a lot of news. She is now going to be advertising a figure skating Barbie doll. This will be the first Barbie ad where under the spokesperson’s picture it says ‘actual size.”

(From: Conan O’Brien 3/4/98)

source: http://www.jokes4us.com/sportsjokes/skatingjokes.html

 

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18 Responses to “Joke 655”

  1. terry1954 January 7, 2013 at 04:28 #

    what station is it on?

    Like

  2. siggiofmaine January 7, 2013 at 04:30 #

    Have to admit I laughed out loud at the Tara joke…thanks ☺

    Like

  3. siggiofmaine January 7, 2013 at 04:38 #

    I’m just watching with one eye a show of over the top funerals…
    they have live pigs running around
    and the casket is shaped sort of like a big BBQ grill.
    the chocolate fountain has BBQ sauce for the ribs everyone is to take one of
    The minister wears a chefs hat.
    AND, they have professional mourners.
    It’s a TLC program…a cable channel…probably you don’t get it.
    .
    I’d just left the tv on while I was typing….don’t think I’ll CHOSE to watch this…
    but you never know !

    Like

  4. slpmartin January 7, 2013 at 05:40 #

    Well…your initial assessment seems right to me…have a great week!

    Like

  5. vivinfrance January 7, 2013 at 09:12 #

    I just wish there weren’t so many ad breaks: 6 skaters and a load of waffle plus 6 ad breaks in a two hour programme – why don’t they just get on with it?

    Like

  6. granny1947 January 7, 2013 at 09:16 #

    Good Morning Tilly.

    Like

  7. viveka January 7, 2013 at 10:16 #

    Love Figure Skating … never been able to do it myself – not even basic skating – so go on .. joke more about it. *smile

    Like

  8. kiwidutch January 7, 2013 at 10:32 #

    It’s too early in the morning Tilly, and I’m still not well and more than a little brain dead, I didn’t get either of these 😦
    probably too many cultural gaps 🙂

    Like

    • Tilly Bud - The Laughing Housewife January 7, 2013 at 10:40 #

      Oh, shame!

      Here’s a joke just for you, then (I Googled ‘joke cultural gap’):

      United Nations Survey

      Last month, a world survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was: “Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world.” The survey was a huge failure…
      In Africa they didn’t know what “food” meant.
      In Eastern Europe they didn’t know what “honest” meant.
      In Western Europe they didn’t know what “shortage” meant.
      In China they didn’t know what “opinion” meant.
      In the Middle East they didn’t know what “solution” meant.
      In South America they didn’t know what “please” meant, and
      In the USA they didn’t know what “the rest of the world” meant.

      From http://www.1000ventures.com/fun/fun_ccd_j.html

      Like

      • Pseu January 7, 2013 at 14:12 #

        that’s better.

        Like

  9. robincoyle January 7, 2013 at 16:14 #

    Oh brother.

    Like

I welcome your comments but be warned: I'm menopausal and as likely to snarl as smile. Wine or Maltesers are an acceptable bribe; or a compliment about my youthful looks and cheery disposition will do in a pinch.

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