Archive | 13:39

Today Is World Tedium Day

16 Jan

To relieve it, I have gathered together some funny and/or interesting stuff.  You can thank me by reciprocating in the comments with your own funny or interesting stuff.

  • Children are a great comfort in your old age — and they help you reach it faster, too.   Lionel Kauffman.
  • One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child’s name and how old he or she is.   Erma Bombeck.
  • Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped.  Sam Levenson.

  • The longest war in history was between The Netherlands and The Scilly Isles.  It ended in 1986 after 335 years.
  • Peanuts are an ingredient of dynamite.
  • A sneeze travels at over 100mph.
  • The shortest war in history was between Zanzibar and England in 1896. Zanzibar surrendered after 38 minutes.
  • The names of the continents start and end with the same letter.
  • You cannot lick your elbow (yes, I know it’s an old one but I promised you dull stuff).
  • When glass breaks, the cracks move faster than 3,000 miles per hour. To photograph the event, a camera must shoot at a millionth of a second.
  • The only word in the English language to end in ‘mt’ is ‘dreamt’.
  • People laugh on average thirteen times a day.
  • The sun is 330,330 times larger than the earth.
  • Polar bears are left-handed.
  • Honolulu is the only place in the United States that has a royal palace.
  • Babies are born without kneecaps.

This post first appeared three years ago.  Fact.

Joke 664

16 Jan
Baskets

Baskets (Photo credit: Mulacmail)

A dog goes into a grocer’s with a basket in its mouth.  In the basket is a shopping list and a purse.  The grocer reads the list, puts the goods requested into the basket, takes some money from the purse and puts back the change. The dog runs off home.

This happens every week for months and the grocer becomes extremely impressed by the animal’s intelligence and its dedication to its task.  One day he decides to follow the animal home and see if its owner would be willing to sell it. The dog eventually leads the grocer to a run-down house where it puts the basket on the doorstep and rings the door-bell with its nose.

After a few seconds an old woman opens the door and starts hitting the dog with a stick.

‘Stop!’ shouts the grocer. ‘What are you doing? That’s the most intelligent dog I’ve ever seen in my life.’

‘Intelligent?’ shouts the old woman.  ‘That’s the third time this week he’s forgotten his keys.’

From manwalksintoajoke

 

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